|Prior Date||Archive Index||Next Date|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 13, 1998
Never let your head hang down.
Never give up and sit down and grieve.
Find another way.
- Satchell Paige
Shared by DiSmiles via INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
While visiting a prison in Potsdam, King Frederick William I listened to a number of pleas for pardon. All the inmates swore that prejudiced judges, perjured witnesses, or unscrupulous lawyers were responsible for their imprisonment. From cell to cell the same story of wronged innocence continued.
But at one cell the inmate had nothing to say. Surprised, Frederick joked, "I suppose you are innocent too." "No your Majesty," the man answered. "I am guilty and richly deserve all that I get." The king turned to the guard and called out loudly, "Come and release this rascal quickly, before he corrupts this fine lot of innocent people." - Discover
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
ODD SIGNS, Mostly form England - Part 1 of 2
Sign in a Laundromat on automatic washing machines:
Please Remove All Your Clothes When the Light Goes out
Sign in a London department store:
Bargain Basement Upstairs
Outside a farm:
Horse Manure 50p per Pre-packed Bag, 20p Do-it-yourself
In an office:
After Tea Break, Staff Should Empty the Teapot and Stand Upside down on the Draining Board
On a church door:
This Is the Gate of Heaven. Enter Ye All by this Door. (This Door Is Kept Locked Because of the Draft. Please Use Side Door.)
Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to Lunch: If Not Back by Five, out for Dinner Also
Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
Slow Cattle Crossing. No Overtaking for the next 100 Yrs.
Outside a disco:
Smarts Is the Most Exclusive Disco in Town. Everyone Welcome
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. Any Person Passing this Point Will Be Drowned. By Order of the District Council.
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to Increasing Problems with Letter Louts and Vandals We must Ask Anyone with Relatives Buried in the Graveyard to Do Their Best to Keep Them in Order
Shared by Richard C. Brown
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A seaman meets a pirate, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off" "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "Well...", said the pirate, "...it was my first day with the hook."
Shared by Ernie Dobkins
An alligator has a brain the size of your thumb. Ten seconds after feeding, it forgets that it has eaten. - Steamin' Heap o' Facts, The Oregonian