|Prior Date||Archive Index||Next Date|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 20, 1998
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. - A. Lincoln
(Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net)
At one time Andrew Carnegie had forty-three millionaires working for him. A reporter asked Carnegie how he had managed to hire forty-three millionaires. Carnegie responded that those men had not been millionaires when they started working for him but had become millionaires as a result.
The reporter's next question was, "How did you develop these men to become so valuable to you that you have paid them this much money?" Carnegie replied that men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold; but one doesn't go into the mine looking for dirt - one goes in looking for the gold.
(Shared by James S. Vuocolo via INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/)
THIS & THAT:
John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup.
Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once" John explained.
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's scared to death to cough."
(Shared by Ernest Dobkins)
"DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Ain't it so.
(Shared by Mikey's Funnies http://www.YouthSpecialties.com)
FACTS ABOUT AMERICANS, From Harper's Index
21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
Men do 29% of laundry each week.
Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
70% of us drink orange juice daily.
(Shared by Kat via ‘Have A Nice Day' E-mail list firstname.lastname@example.org)