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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 22, 1998
If you don't like something about yourself, change it. If you can't change it, accept it. - Ted Shackelford
(Shared by INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/)
THE FRONT PORCH
Written by Sharon Unger(A Wit & Wisdom reader), April 21, 1998, All rights reserved
When our children were young, we took a trip across the country so they could see much of the history of the United States and also so we could spend some time with my husband's sister.
One Sunday while we were at his sister's house, I was feeling particularly out of sorts. I felt most unwelcome there, not just by her, but also by my children and my husband. This I later found out was not the fault of anyone there, but was more spiritual.
I went out on the Front Porch of my sister in law's house and was just sitting there, thinking out loud. I wasn't praying, mind you, I was thinking out loud. I felt so all alone, so unhappy, so unwanted. I was miserable and was having a pity party for myself, basically.
"Why do I feel so alone?" I asked. "What is wrong with me?" "What do I need to do to make things right?"
Suddenly I heard church bells in the distance. They were playing an old familiar Christian song. It was as though God Himself were speaking to me, answering my non-prayer thoughts.
"Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling, calling all sinners to come home."
With tears streaming down my face, I suddenly realized that today was Sunday. I realized how far I had put God in the back seat. Right then and there, I prayed, "Father, forgive me. I have allowed everyone and everything to become more important to me than You. I have put you in a closet and shut the door. I am so sorry. I can see now what the problem is. Lord, I promise that as soon as we get back home, we will all go to church every Sunday. I promise we will put You first in our lives, where You should be. I promise I will not ever again shut you in a closet."
I felt such a rush of warmth and joy. I honestly felt the arms of our God reach down from heaven and embrace me. Now, instead of tears, there was a smile. Instead of feeling alone I felt His presence. Instead of feeling unwanted I felt His peace and His love. I knew I was loved. I knew I was needed. I knew I was wanted.
God spoke so clearly to me that day, and has so many times since then. I am so very happy that He called this sinner back home.
To God be the glory forever and ever. Amen
THIS & THAT:
number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was going to perform Beethoven's Ninth. At this point, it helps for you to know two things:
(1) There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.
(2) There used to be a tavern right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.
It had been decided that during this performance, after the bass players had played their parts in the opening of the Ninth, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage rather than sit on their stools looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes.
Well, once they got backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street and quaff a few brews. After they had downed the first couple rounds, one said, "Shouldn't we be getting back? It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were late."
Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the first place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a little more time, so I tied a string around the last pages of the conductor's score. When he gets down to there, Milton's going to have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the baton with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other."
So they had another round and finally returned to the Opera House, a little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look at their conductor's face told them they were in serious trouble. The conductor was furious! After all . . .
It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the basses were loaded.
(Shared by Rick Foster)
There is a story about a new clerk in a supermarket. A customer asked him if she could buy half a grapefruit. Not knowing what to do, he excused himself to ask the manager. "Some nut out there wants to buy half a grapefruit..." he began, and, suddenly realizing that the customer had entered the office behind him, continued, "... and this lovely lady would like to buy the other half."
The manager was impressed with the way the clerk amicably resolved the problem and they later started chatting. "Where are you from?" asked the store manager. "Lancaster, Pennsylvania," replied the clerk, "home of ugly women and great hockey teams." "Oh, my WIFE is from Lancaster," challenged the manager. Without skipping a beat, the clerk asked, "What team was she on?"
(Shared by Stacy Petersen via Bill's Punch Line firstname.lastname@example.org)
If you have a $100,000 home mortgage for 30 years at 8% interest and you pay an additional $100 each month, you will reduce the life of your mortgage by ten years and save $64,000. - The Stew Pot, Gordon Botting, Editor