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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 6, 1998


God gave us two ears but only one mouth . . . Some people say that's because
he wanted us to spend twice as much time listening as talking. Others claim it's because He knew listening was twice as hard as talking.

(Shared by Bud Trulson)


By Fanny J. Crosby

When Jesus comes to reward his servants,
Whether it be noon or night,
Faithful to Him will He find us watching,
With our lamps all trimmed and bright?

Blessed are those whom the Lord finds watching,
In His glory they shall share;
If He shall come at the dawn or midnight,
Will He find us watching there?

O can we say we are ready, brother?
Ready for the soul's bright Home?
Say, will He find you and me still watching,
Waiting, waiting when the Lord shall come?

- DECISION, December 1997
See today's trivia for the irony of using many of these words



When I'm a little old lady
Then I'll live with my children
and bring them great joy.
To repay all I've had
from each girl and boy
I shall draw on the walls
and scuff up the floor;
Run in and out
without closing the door.
I'll hide frogs in the pantry,
socks under my bed.
Whenever they scold me,
I'll hang my head.
I'll run and I'll romp,
always fritter away
The time to be spent
doing chores every day.

I'll pester my children
when they are on the phone.
As long as they're busy
won't leave them alone.
Hide candy in closets,
rocks in a drawer,
And never pick up my clothes
from the floor.
Dash off to the movies
and not wash a dish.
I'll plead for allowance
whenever I wish.
I'll stuff up the plumbing
and deluge the floor.
As soon as they've mopped it,
I'll flood it some more.
When they correct me,
I'll lie down and cry,

Kicking and screaming,
not a tear in my eye.
I'll take all their pencils
and flashlights, and then
When they buy new ones,
I'll take them again.
I'll spill glasses of milk
to complete every meal,
Eat my banana and
just drop the peel.
Put toys on the table,
spill jam on the floor,
I'll break lots of dishes
as though I were four.
What fun I shall have,
what joy it will be to
Live with my children....
the way they lived with me!

Author Unknown

(Shared by Ken and Wilma Hinshaw via MONDAY FODDER by Dave in Hong Kong dgaufaaa@iohk.com)


When his pager went off during a council meeting in Knoxville, Tenn., police chief Phil Keith was startled to see that the call was from his mother. Concerned, he rushed to the press table and phoned her. "Phil Keith, are you chewing gum?" asked his mom, who had been watching the council meeting on cable TV. "Yes, ma'am." "Well, it looks awful. Spit it out." Keith dutifully removed the gum and went back to his meeting. - Knoxville, Tenn., News-Sentinel

(Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List ksullivan@worldnet.att.net)


Fanny J. Crosby (1820-1915) was hymn writer. Born in Putnam County, New York, she was blinded as a baby through a physician's negligence. After completing training at the New York City Institution for the Blind, she taught there from 1847 to 1858. In 1858 she married a musician, Alexander Van Alstyne, who also was blind. Under her own name, as well as under various initials and pen names, she wrote more than 2,000 hymns, including "Tis The Blessed Hour Of Prayer" and "To God Be the Glory." - Decision, December 1997

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