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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 8, 1998
Rosemond Parenting Quote: "Television is the single greatest threat to communication and intimacy within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you're both watching television." (William E. O'Flaherty's "4 Thoughts of the Week"
On a chilly and miserable rainy day in early February 1996, one of the most affluent men in America was being driven down the freeway when his personal limousine got a flat tire. His driver got out to survey the damage when a passing car stopped and a fellow traveler offered to change the tire. When the spare was in place, the wealthy owner slid open his window and said, "That was kind of you - what can I do to thank you?"
The man thought for a moment and then witha smile and a chuckle replied, "My wife would get a real kick out of your sending a dozen long-stemmed roses to her on Valentine's Day." The entrepreneur agreed to do so and drove off.
February 14 arrived and a beautiful box of long-stemmed roses showed up at the kind traveler's door for his wife. Inside was a simple note which read: "Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks for helping us out. Here are the roses I promised and, by the way, I paid off your mortgage." Signed Donald Trump.
The Stew Pot, Gordon Botting, Editor
THIS & THAT:
FAVORITE HYMNS FOR DIFFERENT OCCUPATIONS:
Astronaut: "Nearer My God, To Thee"
Baker: "I Need Thee Every Hour"
Barber: "A Parting Hymn We Sing"
Baseball Batter: "Seek Thee First"
Builder: "How Firm A Foundation"
Canoeist: "Flow, River, Flow"
Carpenter: "The Nail Scarred Hand"
Children's Librarian: "We've A Story To Tell"
Chiropractor: "Awake My Soul, Stretch Every Nerve"
Civil Engineer: "When I Survey The Wondrous Cross"
Contractor: "The Church's One Foundation"
Dentist: "Crown Him With Many Crowns"
Electrician: "O Joyful Light" and "Send The Light"
Fisherman: "Shall We Gather At The River?"
Golfer: "There Is A Green Hill Far Away"
Gossiper: "It Is No Secret"
Historian: "Tell Me The Old, Old Story"
Jogger: "The Path Of Life"
Lifeguard: "Come To The Water"
Long-Distance Trucker: "On The Highways And Byways Of Life"
Mathematician: "10,000 Times, 10,000 Times"
Medical Technician: "Revive Us Again"
Mountain Climber: "The Rock That Is Higher Than I"
Newlywed: "I Need Thee Every Hour"
Obstetrician: "He Is Able To Deliver Thee"
Optometrist: "Open Mine Eyes That I Might See"
Paratrooper: "Now On Land And Sea Descending"
Philosopher: "I Am Thinking Today"
Politician: "Standing On The Promises"
Real Estate Agent: "I've Got A Mansion"
Sailboater: "Deep River"
Sceptic: "Almost Persuaded"
Shopper: "Sweet By And By"
Speech Therapist: "He Never Said A Mumbling Word"
Steeple Builder: "Lift High The Cross"
Stonecutter: "Rock Of Ages"
Switchboard Operator: "There's A Call Comes Ringing"
Tailor: "Holy, Holy, Holy"
Voice Teacher: "Sing Them Over Again To Me"
Watchmaker: "Take Time To Be Holy"
Watchman: "Silent Night"
Weatherman: "There Shall Be Showers Of Blessings"
(Shared by Mikey's Funnies
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."
(Shared by Daily Humor (http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Acres/1029/Jokes.htm)
In 1992, Englishman Dave Gauder at 224 pounds pulled a jumbo jet weighing 196 tons for three inches across the runway at the Heathrow Airport in London for the world record of pulling a heavy object. (Shared by