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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 23, 1998
Forget yourself when with others and others will not forget you. (Shared by Robbi Mikkola)
THIS & THAT:
THE OLD MAID'S BURGLAR
A story I'll tell of a burglar bold
Who started to rob a house;
He opened the window, and then crept in
As quiet as a mouse . . .
He looked around for a place to hide,
'Till the folks were all asleep,
Then said he, "With their money
I'll take a quiet sneak".
So under the bed the burglar crept;
He crept up close to the wall;
He didn't know it was an old maid's room
Or he wouldn't have had the gall.
He thought of the money that he would steal,
As under the bed he lay;
But at nine o'clock he saw a sight
That made his hair turn gray.
At nine o'clock the old maid came in;
"I am so tired", she said;
She thought that all was well that night
So she didn't look under the bed.
She took out her teeth and her big glass eye,
And the hair from off her head;
The burglar, he had forty fits
As he watched from under the bed.
From under the bed the burglar crept,
He was a total wreck;
The old maid wasn't asleep at all
And she grabbed him by the neck.
She didn't holler, or shout or call,
She was as cool as a clam;
She only said, "The Saints be praised,
At last I've got a man".
From under the pillow a gun she drew,
And to the burglar she said,
"Young man, if you don't marry me,
I'll blow off the top of your head".
She held him firmly by the neck,
He hadn't a chance to scoot;
He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye,
And said "Madam, for Pete's sake, Shoot!"
- Author Unknown (Shared by Kitty's Daily Mews http://www.katscratch.com)
Our 4-year-old granddaughter who lives with her parents in Las Vegas, attended Vacation Bible School. Impressed with the Bible stories about Jesus' ascension and second coming, which were dramatized so beautifully, she call me in California and said excitedly, "Grandpa, do you know that Jesus is coming very soon here in Las Vegas? - Is He coming to California, too?" - Albert Regoso
ROAD TO HELL
Hell, Mich. (EP) - It may be a little harder to go to Hell this year. A bridge on the main road leading to Hell, Michigan, is badly in need of repair - a project that could close the road for three months. Business owners in the town fear that the disruption in traffic could force some stores into bankruptcy. "It'll close the whole town," complained Jim Ley, president of the Hell Chamber of Commerce. Officials acknowledge that the repair work will cause some disruption, but insist that plans to fix the road to Hell spring from good intentions. The road suffers damage each year when Hell freezes over.
Evangelical Press (Shared by Teresa's Jokers http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/5655/)