WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 29, 1998


God gave us memories, that we might have June roses in the December of our lives. - James Barrie (Shared by MakeMyDay-owner@sparklist.com)


O Lord our God, grant us grace to desire you with a whole heart, so that desiring you we may seek you with a whole heart, so that desiring you we may seek and find you; and so finding you, may love you; and loving you, may hate those sins which separate us from you, for the sake of Jesus Christ. - St. Anselm (1033-1109) (Shared by Timothy Cabrera)


The Edward Bulwar Lytton prize is awarded every year to the author of the worst possible opening line of a book. This has been so successful that Penguin now publishes five books-worth of entries.

Some winners:

"Just beyond the Narrows the river widens."

"With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

"Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: "Andre creep . . . Andre creep . . .Andre creep."

"Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from seeking out a living at a local pet store."

"As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the sound chamber he would never hear the end of it."

"Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

"Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

"Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death - in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

(Shared by Peter Langston via Mikey's Funnies http://www.YouthSpecialties.com)


Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them.

One evening they were sitting in the parlor and Haley said, "Ben, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and put some chocolate syrup and peanuts on it. And, Ben, write it down so you don't forget the peanuts."

"That's a good idea, Dear." Ben said, and wrote it on the notepad and headed for the kitchen.

Ben was in the kitchen for a while, and returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. Haley looked at it and said, "Oh Ben, you forgot the breakfast toast."

(Shared by Laugh-A-Lot! laughalot- owner@graceweb.org)


Lava has been measured flowing as fast as 40 miles per hour (60 km/hr). Some kinds of lava flow better than others. Basalt lava, which contains relatively little silica, flows the best. This is the type of lava that emerges from Hawaiian volcanoes at temperatures of over 1000 degrees Celsius.

To learn more about lava, visit:

(Share d by The Learning Kingdom http://www.LearningKingdom.com/join.html)

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2001 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.