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WIT & WISDOM - August 21, 1998

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not. - Henry Fielding [1]


-Author Unknown

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray.
Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn't shaved in awhile.
His shirt was kinda' shabby and his coat was worn and frayed.
The man knelt, bowed his head, then arose and walked away.

In the days that followed each noon time brought this chap
And each time he knelt just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap.
Well, the minister's suspicions grew, and robbery was his main fear.
He decided to stop the man and ask him, "Watcha' doing' here?"
The old man worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour.
Lunch time was his prayer time, for finding strength and power.

"I stay only moments, see, 'cause the factory is so far away;
As I kneel here talkin' to the Lord, this is kinda' what I say:
"I just came again to tell You, Lord, how happy I have been,
Since we found each other's friendship and You took away my sin.
I don't know much of how to pray,
But I think about You every day.
So, Jesus, this is Jim just checkin' in."

The minister feeling foolish, told Jim, that this was fine.
He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just anytime.
"Time to go", Jim smiled, said "Thanks." He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar, he'd never done it before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love, he met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim's prayer:
"I just came again to tell You, Lord, how happy I have been,
Since we found each other's friendship and You took away my sin.
I don't know much of how to pray,
But I think about You every day.
So, Jesus, this is me just checkin' in."

It was past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim, he began to worry some.
He went to the factory and asked about Jim and found out he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried, but he'd given them a thrill.
The week that Jim was with them, brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious, changed people, his reward.
The head nurse couldn't understand why Jim was so glad,
When no flowers, calls or cards came, not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by Jim's bed, he voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared; Jim had nowhere to turn.
Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile;
"The nurse is wrong, she couldn't know, that everyday at noon
He's here, a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me:
"I just came again to tell you, Jim, how happy I have been,
Since we found this friendship, and I took away your sin
I always love to hear you pray,
I think about you each day,
And so my dear Jim, this Is Jesus checking in." [2]

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


Sign on restaurant window: Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)

Graffiti on a wall: Jesus saves! Written underneath: At what bank? Written underneath: At the Bank of the River Jordan.

Do you know why the dog gave birth right in the middle of the road? A. The sign read 'Fine for littering.'

Sign on an airport runway: All baggage carts must yield to oncoming planes.

Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock: Please don't ring bell.

Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less.

Sign in a 1 hour eyeglass store: 20/20 in 60 Minutes.

Saying on a T-shirt: My daughter and my money both go to college.

Bumper-sticker: Pharmacists are indispensable.

T-shirt: My heart belongs to Daddy. . .and so do my credit cards!

Sign in a funeral parlor: Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

Grave digger's motto: We are the last ones to put you down.

Sign in a dentist's office: Patient parking only. All others will be painfully extracted.

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: Reserved for plant manager.

Sign in a restaurant: If you smoke, don't exhale.

Boyfriend wanted: No experience necessary. Will train.

Sign on a closed store: This store is guarded by a very mean dog 3 nights a week. You guess which nights.

Sign on a hearing aid shop: Trust us. Over 5000 ears of experience.

Sign in a thrift shop: We are a non-profit organization. Please help us change. [3]


The story of Adam and Eve was being carefully explained in the children's Sunday school class. Following the story, the children were asked to draw a picture that would illustrate some part of the story.

Little Bobby was most interested and drew a picture of a car with three people in it. In the front seat behind the wheel was a rather large man and in the back seat a man and a woman.

The teacher was at a loss to understand how this illustrated the lesson. But little Bobby was prompt with his explanation. "Why, this is God driving Adam and Eve out of the garden!" [4]

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

The launching mechanism of a carrier ship that helps planes to take off, could throw a pickup truck over a mile. [5]


[1] ("4 Thoughts of the Week" http://www.netastic.com/4tow/4tow.html)
[2] (Stanley Baldwin, Candie L. Martin, Mike Newland)
[3] (Bill's Punch Line tcmrtalk@airmail.net)
[4] (Patty Patterson)
[5] (Fast Eddie's Funnies http://recommend-it.com/l.z.e?s=154533)

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