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WIT & WISDOM - October 23, 1998
Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach 
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Glory all around us will never make a heaven unless there is glory within us, too. . . . We should therefore be more interested in becoming wonderful people than in going to a wonderful place." - By Stanley C. Baldwin, Christianity Today, Quoted in Signs of the Times, April 1965 
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
AT A TIRE SHOP IN MILWAUKEE:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
- Adolph Herbstrei
SIGN AT THE PSYCHIC'S HOTLINE:
Don't call us, We'll call you.
AT A LAUNDRY SHOP:
How about we refund your money,
send you a new one at no charge,
close the store and have the manager shot.
Would that be satisfactory?
'Signed Customer Service'
AT A TOWING COMPANY:
"We won't charge an arm and a leg.
We want tows."
BILLBOARD ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop
reading these signs"
-Joe E Bowers, Jr. 
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen And This Kitchen Is Delirious
Help Keep the Kitchen Clean - Eat Out
Countless Numbers Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives
My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines 
She may be barking up the wrong tree, but Marie Dana feels her late companion treated her a lot worse than a dog in the will that he left.
Bathroom fixture magnate Sidney Altman, who died in 1996, left his Beverly Hills mansion and $350,000 to his aging pet pooch Samantha, according to a court suit that came to light on Wednesday.
Dana, 32, on the other hand, or paw, was left an annual tax-free stipend of $60,000, and allowed to live in the mansion provided she took care of Samantha, a cocker spaniel.
But when Samantha, who is now 15, dies, the will stipulates that Dana loses her $60,000 a year and the house, valued at about $5 million, is to be sold and the money distributed to animal charities.
So Dana is suing for half the estate, her lawyer, Cary Goldstein, told the Los Angeles Times. - LOS ANGELES (Reuters) 
 (Inspiration a Day!
 (Dale Galusha
 (Joke A Day
 (Jerry Fogler via Teresa's Jokers