| Prior Date | Back to Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WIT & WISDOM - October 23, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Glory all around us will never make a heaven unless there is glory within us, too. . . . We should therefore be more interested in becoming wonderful people than in going to a wonderful place." - By Stanley C. Baldwin, Christianity Today, Quoted in Signs of the Times, April 1965 [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: MORE SIGNS: PLUMBER: "We repair what your husband fixed." -Mo4al AT A TIRE SHOP IN MILWAUKEE: "Invite us to your next blowout." - Adolph Herbstrei SIGN AT THE PSYCHIC'S HOTLINE: Don't call us, We'll call you. -IBDOUGELL AT A LAUNDRY SHOP: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory? 'Signed Customer Service' -Janet36603 AT A TOWING COMPANY: "We won't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." -Phred BILLBOARD ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs" -Joe E Bowers, Jr. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen And This Kitchen Is Delirious Help Keep the Kitchen Clean - Eat Out Countless Numbers Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: She may be barking up the wrong tree, but Marie Dana feels her late companion treated her a lot worse than a dog in the will that he left. Bathroom fixture magnate Sidney Altman, who died in 1996, left his Beverly Hills mansion and $350,000 to his aging pet pooch Samantha, according to a court suit that came to light on Wednesday. Dana, 32, on the other hand, or paw, was left an annual tax-free stipend of $60,000, and allowed to live in the mansion provided she took care of Samantha, a cocker spaniel. But when Samantha, who is now 15, dies, the will stipulates that Dana loses her $60,000 a year and the house, valued at about $5 million, is to be sold and the money distributed to animal charities. So Dana is suing for half the estate, her lawyer, Cary Goldstein, told the Los Angeles Times. - LOS ANGELES (Reuters) [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Inspiration a Day! [2] (Dale Galusha [3] (Joke A Day [4] (Jerry Fogler via Teresa's Jokers [5] (http://my.netscape.com/news/OddlyEnough) |