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WIT & WISDOM - December 11, 1998
"Adventure is not outside a man; it is within." - David Grayson 
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
THE SIMPLE GIFTS
1. The gift of LISTENING . . .
Try giving this to someone in need. And you must really listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your responses. Just listen.
2. The gift of SHOWING AFFECTION . . .
Be generous with your hugs, kisses and gentle squeezes of the hand. Let these tiny actions demonstrate the love inside of you.
3. The gift of A NOTE . . .
It can be as simple as "I Love You," or as creative as a poem. Put your notes where they will surprise your loved ones.
4. The gift of LAUGHTER . . .
Just cut out a cartoon, save a clever article. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
5. The gift of A COMPLIMENT . . .
A simple "You look good in blue" or "Good supper" can be of greatest value to those who may feel they are being taken for granted.
6. The gift of A FAVOR . . .
Help with the dishes, run an errand, etc.
7. The gift of LEAVING SOMEONE ALONE . . .
There are times in our lives when we want nothing more than to be left alone. Become more sensitive to those times and give solitude.
8. The gift of A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION . . .
Try to be cheerful around those you love.
9. The gift of A GAME . . .
Offer to play your loved one's favorite game. Even if you lose, you'll be a winner.
10. The gift of PRAYER . . .
Pray for your loved ones and let them know you pray for them. 
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Thought I'd let my doctor check me
Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .
All those aches and pains annoyed me
And I couldn't sleep at night.
He could find no real disorder
But he wouldn't let it rest
What with Medicare and Blue Cross,
We would do a couple tests.
To the hospital he sent me
Though I didn't feel that bad,
He arranged for them to give me
Every test that could be had.
I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,
My aging frame displayed
Stripped, on an ice cold table,
While my gizzards were x-rayed.
I was checked for worms and parasites,
For fungus and the crud,
While they pierced me with long needles
Taking samples of my blood.
Doctors came to check me over,
Probed and pushed and poked around,
And to make sure I was living
They then wired me for sound.
They have finally concluded
(Their results have filled a page)
What I have will someday kill me;
My affliction is OLD AGE.
- Author Unknown 
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
John Magrich 4, defeated serval dozen grown-ups to win the 1965 Los Angles County Hog Calling contest.
The grown-ups strained with calls like:
"Pig, Pig, Pig WHOOOoooeee, WHOOOoooeee, WHOOOoooeee, Pig, Pig, Pig"
"OOOOooooeeee, OOOOooooeeee ERGH, ERGH RRrkie, RRoooeee, Pig Pig Pig, Piggy.
John called, "Here piggy piggy." and 6 pigs walked right up to him. 
Why is it considered bad luck to open an umbrella indoors? An open umbrella, especially one of the earliest models, could be very dangerous indoors. It could knock over a valuable object, its spokes could poke someone in the eye, or it could cause a minor but unpleasant accident that might lead to conflict. Rather than court this kind of "bad luck," a handy superstition was created. Sources: PANATI'S EXTRAORDINARY ORIGINS OF EVERYDAY THINGS by Charles Panati 
 (Inspiration a Day!
 (Shrylene Clark, Sue Archer)
 (Shared by Dottie Lewis at Age 82, now passed away.)
 (Michael Mullen via Teresa's Jokers