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~~~~~~~ WITANDWISDOM™ - May 7, 1999
What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens. - Thaddeus Golas
(E-zine: INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
WHAT IS A MOTHER? Part 1 of 2
Children answer the question:
"She knows what is important. That is why God asked her to be a mother."
"A mommy is a wife. A mommy looks after children and she yells."
"A mother is the only one if she sings your favorite song it stops thundering."
"Mothers get mad if you use your brother's toothbrush but he doesn't care."
"If I forget to tell my mother I need my shepherd costume tomorrow morning, she finds one in the night."
"It is lucky that we have a mother because if we did not have a mother everything would be in a big, big mess."
(Steve Heese via Mikey's Funnies
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh. . . you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
"Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
(E-zine: Derek's Joke List (c) 1998-1999 Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Question: Can you make one sentence that uses the words deduct, defense, defeat, and detail?
You may want to stop here before going on to the answer.
Answer: Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail. :)
(E-zine: BILL'S PUNCH LINE http://www.tcmr.com/billspunchline.html)
NOTE: "My brother in law is a Lutheran pastor, and has studied Martin Luther's life in great detail. I showed him this story (Martin Luther befriended by strangers - W&W Trivia, 4-26-99), and he said ‘This story sounds nice for a fairy tale. There is no historical basis for it.'" - Jack
OFF THE WIRE
Identical-twin brothers in Ethiopia drew lots to see who would wed whom after their parents arranged their marriages to identical-twin sisters.
Three magazines checked out from a Texas A & M University library before the Depression were returned - almost 70 years late.
- Ivan Weiss, August 01, 1998, Copyright © 1998 The Seattle Times Company
(E-zine: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR http://hostigos.otherwhen.com/mailing_lists.html#MCHAWLIST)