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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - June 21, 1999
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby
(Linda R. Dominguez via E-zine: DAILYQUOTE c1999 http://www.dailycast.com)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
WHY WE APPRECIATE MEN
They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep.
They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness.
They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall.
Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.
Bravery around snakes, waterbugs, bats and flat tires.
Their unapologetic desire for a nice hunk of beef or chocolate cake.
Their ability to solve problems simply by throwing a ball around.
The glimpse you get, when they wear their baseball cap backward of their inner Little Leaguer.
How tender they get when they cry, and how seldom they do it.
What they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action.
They make excellent companions when driving through rough neighborhoods or walking past dark alleys.
They really love their moms. They remind us of our dads.
They don't mind accompanying a woman to a party even though she looks like a movie star and they look like the chauffeur.
Their near-endless appetite for discussing the ins and outs of work and money - ours as well as theirs.
Their genuine ardor for tinkering with toilets, changing oil and assembling gas grills - jobs any intelligent woman can do but would be nuts to volunteer for.
They never care what their horoscope, their mother-in-law, nor the neighbors say.
They rarely lie about their age, their weight, or their clothing size.
Their face is a treasure to behold when they give us a present they picked out.
Their ignorance is usually amusing.
They have a great sense of competition.
They give great hugs, ( and always melt our hearts when a sweet "I love you Princess" is added).
Though they often try to hide it, they're very tenderhearted and caring.
They have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don't want them to.
They don't care whether colors match, but are willing to be concerned if we want them to be.
They can be taught.
They give us a peek at the little boy inside when they get sick or happy or hurt.
(Tom Ervin via Daily Humor
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
WELCOME TO TEXAS!
For those of you who have been in Texas in the summer for any length of time, you will be able to appreciate and relate to these. For those of you who have NOT been in Texas in the summer, realize how lucky you are!!!
It's so HOT in Texas, the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so HOT in Texas, the potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
It's so HOT that the farmers are feeding the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
It's so DRY in Texas, the cows are giving evaporated milk.
It's so DRY in Texas, the trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
(E-zine: FAST EDDIE'S FUNNIES http://recommend- it.com/l.z.e?s=154533)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ.
"Can you read that?" the doctor asked.
"Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I date his sister!"
(E-zine: KITTY'S DAILY MEWS http://www.katscratch.com)
TELEPHONE PREFERENCE SERVICE - The Direct Marketing Association has also developed this service for consumers who do not want to receive unsolicited telemarketing calls. Much like the MPS, TPS will reduce calls primarily from national telemarketers who contact you at home. This service is also free.
How Do I Register with TPS?
You may register with this service by sending your name, home address and home telephone number, including area code to:
Telephone Preference Service
Direct Marketing Association
P.O. Box 9014
Farmingdale, NY 11735-9014
What Happens After I Register?
As with the MPS, your name will remain on the file for five years at which point you must register again. You will notice the volume of calls you receive at home decreasing about two months after your name is entered into the quarterly file update.
Does My Registration Mean an End to All Advertising Calls?
No. Although registration with TPS will help reduce the number of telemarketing calls you receive, it will not stop all telemarketing calls. You may continue to receive calls from local merchants, religious and charitable organizations, professional and alumni associations, and political candidates.