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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 30, 1999
"What we do today, right now, Will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows." - Alexandra Stoddard
(E-zine: INSPIRATION A DAY! Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
I had always been a believer, but without much direction. In the 1950s money was hard to come by. I saved a small amount from my household budget to buy some art supplies. Finally I had enough, but I gave the money to the church. A day later a neighbor knocked at my door. She said a relative who was an artist had died. They had no idea what to do with her art supplies, but remembered I had an interest in art and asked if I could use them. Of course I said yes, and she delivered so many paints and materials, I hardly had room for them. Through the years most of my concerns taken to the lord have resulted in awesome results. - Patricia Courtney, San Jose, California
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION
If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few phrases that may help an otherwise awkward letter:
FOR THE CHRONICALLY ABSENT:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."
FOR AN ALCOHOLIC:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."
FOR AN EMPLOYEE WITH NO AMBITION:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."
FOR AN EMPLOYEE WHO IS SO UNPRODUCTIVE THAT THE JOB IS BETTER LEFT UNFILLED:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."
FOR AN EMPLOYEE WHO IS NOT WORTH FURTHER CONSIDERATION AS A JOB CANDIDATE:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."
FOR AN IRRESPONSIBLE EMPLOYEE:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
FOR A DISHONEST EMPLOYEE:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."
(E-zine: THE FUNNIES Mailto:email@example.com)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
"Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life-insurance salesman asked his client.
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?"
The woman thought a minute then brightened up and said, "A poodle!"
(E-zine: AMERICA'S JOKE Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
LONDON (Reuters) 9-9-99 - A deadly octopus, whose bite can kill humans in minutes but is only the size of a golf ball, has astonished a British aquarium by hatching a brood of 50 young.
The bite of the blue-ringed octopus causes blurred vision and difficulty in swallowing followed rapidly by paralysis and death. There is no known antidote.
The deadly creature, imported from Australia this summer, surprised everyone at the Sea Life Center in Weymouth, western England, when she produced a ball of tiny eggs.
"They are beautiful creatures but they only display their true blue-ringed colors when they are about to attack. So for many people it could have been just about the last thing they ever saw,'' said marine expert Oliver Buttling.