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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 10, 2000
"He who is not grateful for the good things he has would not be happy with the things he wishes he had." - Author Unknown
(E-zine: AMERICA'S QUOTE Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS Part 1 of 3 [1-10,1-20, 1-31]
I. Delineate your fear
II. Disown your fear
III. Displace your rear
Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well with my Solo"
Congratulations to Tim and Rhonda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer.
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
Fifth Sinday is Lent.
Thank you dead friends.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
- Apparently many of these bulletin bloopers are from a book called "Anguished English" by Richard Lederer
(E-zine: THE FUNNIES Mailto:andychaps_the-funnies- email@example.com)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Q. What is the name of the Irishman who keeps bouncing off walls?
A. Rick O'Shea.
(E-zine: JOKES EVERY DAY Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
One way to be a good citizen will also keep your lights on. Illinois Power (a division of Decatur, Ga. - based Illinova Corp., as they say on the Biz pages) has stopped shutting off the power of customers in arrears and instead encourages customers to work off past-due bills by volunteering at nonprofit organizations.
It's not complete corporate good citizenship, however. The bills are actually paid by donations the power company collects from churches and civic groups. On the upside, many people who do the work are eventually hired by the nonprofits, generating regular income again. - The Oregonian, September 9, 1999