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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 20, 2000
Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless. -Goethe
(E-zine: QUOTE A DAY Mailto:join- firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS Part 2 of 3 [1-10,1-20, 1-31]
Volunteers are needed to spit up food.
Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess
There will not be any Women Worth Watching this week.
Child care provided with reservations.
Mark your calendars not to attend the church retreat.
I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirty and you gave me drink.
The visiting monster today is Rev. Jack Bains.
Boars of Trustees
We are always happy to have you sue our facility.
The activity will take place on the church barking lot.
Hymn: I am Thin, O Lord.
New Missionaries: Tim is a pilot and flies missionaries and supplies into the bush.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
- Apparently many of these bulletin bloopers are from a book called "Anguished English" by Richard Lederer
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~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
As an elderly lady was boarding the plane, she said to the flight attendant, "Do these things crash very often?" The attendant replied, "No -- just once!"
(E-zine: E-CHEER, An Excellent Daily Devotional
According to a survey by DiMassimo Brand Advertising, we're all a bunch of saps. We'll believe anything, so long as it comes from a friend or neighbor.
To conduct the survey, DiMassimo recruited 200 people to tell fibs to their friends and then polled the friends a week later. Here are some of our favorite results:
23% thought Amazon.com was a fashion Web site for large women.
22% thought milk was "the other white meat," not pork.
27% said "Just do it" was the slogan of Ex-Lax instead of Nike.
29% said Kenneth Starr was the president of Starbucks.
- "Off- Kilter" by Roy Rivenburg, LA Times Syndicate