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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 21, 2000
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. -Henry Van Dyke
(E-zine: QUOTE A DAY Mailto:join- firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
- Author Unknown
One day, a man went to visit a church. He arrived early, parked his car, and got out. Another car pulled up near him, and the driver told him, "I always park there. You took my place!"
The Visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat, and sat down. A young lady from the church approached him and stated, "That's my seat! You took my place!" The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing.
After Sunday School, the visitor went into the church sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, "That's where I always sit. You took my place!" The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still said nothing.
Later, as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood, and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?"
The visitor replied, "I took your place."
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework assignment to write an essay on "something I am thankful for". Then I'd spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in the world that could possibly be; and I'd end up writing down everything I could think of from God to environmental consciousness. But after having children, my priorities have clearly changed:
BEFORE Children: I was thankful to have been born the USA, the most powerful free democracy in the world.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes — which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the recycling program which will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overloading of landfills.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the size of, say, New Jersey, on his bottom.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for microwaveable macaroni and cheese — without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.
AFTER Children: I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being interrupted.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to "cause drowsiness" in young children.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.
AFTER Children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.
AFTER Children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.
(E-zine: THE FUNNIES Mailto:andychaps_the-funnies- email@example.com)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Members of the Methodist women's church circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were disturbed because a widowed church member and her three small daughters were staying away from services. Finding the reason to be a lack of suitable clothes, the ladies' group corrected the situation in a generous manner.
When the little girls still failed to appear at Sunday School, some of the ladies called to inquire about their absence. The mother thanked them sweetly for the clothing and explained: "The girls looked so nice, I sent them to the Presbyterian church!"
- By Bill Seith
(E-zine: CLEAN LAUGH Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
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