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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 1, 2000
If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all. - Adeline Virginia Stephen Woolf
(E-zine: QUOTE A DAY Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
IF I WERE THE DEVIL
by Paul Harvey
"I would gain control of the most powerful nation in the world;
I would delude their minds into thinking that they had come from man's effort, instead of God's blessings;
I would promote an attitude of loving things and using people, instead the other way around;
I would dupe entire states into relying on gambling for their state;
I would convince people that character is not an issue when it comes to leadership;
I would make it legal to take the life of unborn babies;
I would make it socially acceptable to take one's own life, and invent to make it convenient;
I would cheapen human life as much as possible so that the life of are valued more that human beings;
I would take God out of the schools, where even the mention of His name grounds for a law suit;
I would come up with drugs that sedate the mind and target the young, I would get sports heroes to advertise them;
I would get control of the media, so that every night I could pollute the mind of every family member for my agenda;
I would attack the family, the backbone of any nation.
I would make divorce acceptable and easy, even fashionable. If the family crumbles, so does the nation;
I would compel people to express their most depraved fantasies on canvas movie screens, and I would call it art;
I would convince the world that people are born homosexuals, and that their lifestyles should be accepted and marveled;
I would convince the people that right and wrong are determined by a few who call themselves authorities and refer to their agenda as politically correct;
I would persuade people that the church is irrelevant and out of date, and the Bible is for the naive;
I would dull the minds of Christians, and make them believe that prayer is not important, and that faithfulness and obedience are optional;
I guess I would leave things pretty much the way they are."
- Paul Harvey
(E-zine: Bill & Jo's Humor & Inspiration w/picture backgrounds Mailto:email@example.com)
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
TOP TEN Y2K SURVIVALISTS TO DO LIST
10. Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident...offer to replace dog.
9. Take up pork & beans skeet shooting.
8. Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes, and crow.
7. Cancel subscription to Stockpilers Quarterly, but keep the free can opener.
6. Convert weapons back to semi-auto.
5. Pitch "1000 Ideas for Wheat Gluten" to Martha Stewart's people.
4. Return 753 videos to Blockbuster.
3. Water yard...one lousy gallon at a time.
2. Find grocery store receipt for 10,000 packets of Ramen noodles.
1. Make friends with the 6 billion other Y2K survivors.
(E-zine: CLEAN LAUGH Mailto:cleanlaugh- firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: - "Is this a question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: - "If that is a question, then this is an answer"
The student received an "A" in the class.
(E-zine: TERESA'S JOKERS Mailto:jo-jokers- email@example.com)
The longest Monopoly game ever played was 1,680 hours long, that's 70 straight days!
The longest Monopoly game in a bathtub was 99 hours long.
Escape maps, compasses, and files were inserted into Monopoly game boards and smuggled into POW camps inside Germany during W.W.II; real money for escapees was slipped into the packs of Monopoly money.
Parker Brothers prints about 50 billion dollars worth of Monopoly money in one year.
Values on the Monopoly gameboard are the same today as they were in 1935.
(E-zine: TODAY'S USELESS FACTS Mailto:Useless_Factsfirstname.lastname@example.org)