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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 29, 2000
Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no others are, and to do what no other can do. - William Ellery Channing
(E-zine: WISDOM SEEKERS Mailto:wisdomseekers- firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A man was giving his testimony at one of those old Salvation Army open-air street meetings.
As he was testifying, a heckler in the crowd yelled, "Why don't you shut up and sit down? You're just dreaming."
Immediately that heckler felt a tug on his coat. He looked down to see a little girl, who said.
"Sir, may I speak to you? That man who is talking up there is my daddy. Daddy used to be a drunkard. He used to spend all of the money he made on whiskey. My mother was very sad and would cry most of the time.
"Sometimes when my daddy would come home, he would hit my mother. I didn't have shoes or a nice dress to wear to school. But look at my shoes. And see this pretty dress? My daddy bought these for me."
But the little girl wasn't through with that heckler yet.
"See my mother over there? She's the one with the bright smile on her face. She's happy now. She sings even when she's doing the ironing."
Then the little girl said, "Mister, if my daddy is dreaming, please don't wake him up.
(E-zine: HUMORG Mailto:Judib@mgram.com)
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
My "check engine" light came on the other day. I popped the hood, and looked, the engine is STILL there! Silly light . . .
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
There's no sense in being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway.
I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it!!
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
There is a story involving Yogi Berra, the well-known catcher for the New York Yankees, and Hank Aaron, who at that time was the chief power hitter for the Milwaukee Braves. The teams were playing in the World Series, and as usual Yogi was keeping up his ceaseless chatter, intended to pep up his teammates on the one hand, and distract the Milwaukee batters on the other.
As Aaron came to the plate, Yogi tried to distract him by saying, "Henry, you're holding the bat wrong. You're supposed to hold it so you can read the trademark." Aaron didn't say anything, but when the next pitch came he hit it into the left-field bleachers. After rounding the bases and tagging up at home plate, Aaron looked at Yogi Berra and said, "I didn't come up here to read."
By James Montgomery Boice "Nehemiah, Learning to Lead," Revell, 1990, p. 38
(E-zine: THE TIMOTHY REPORT Mailto:email@example.com)
For years, maps have shown that northern Germany's highest mountain, the Brocken, was 3,747 feet tall. But recently, more precise measurements revealed that the peak is only 3,741 feet tall. To avoid correcting the world's maps, a construction company trucked 19 tons of granite to the summit, stacking the rocks in a 6-foot pile. http://www.thisistrue.com/skeptics98.html
(E-zine: GIGGLES & GRINS Mailto:mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)