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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 31, 2000

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

I got a fortune cookie that said, "To remember is to understand." I have never forgotten it. A good judge remembers what it was like to be a lawyer. A good editor remembers being a writer. A good parent remembers what it was like to be a child. - Anna Quindlen

(E-zine: QUOTE A DAY Mailto:quoteaday- subscribe@listbot.com)

~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:

LORD, THANK YOU

Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat.

Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.

And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.

My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mess, soggy, grimy towels and dirty lavatory; they are so convenient.

Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly; it has served us faithfully for many years. It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers for two or three meals.

Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today; it has baked so many things over the years.

The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing, the lawn that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard.

Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door. My kids are healthy and able to run and play.

Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says You have richly blessed my family. I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully. And all God's people say . . . Amen!

(Garland D Carlson)

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

USEFUL ENGLISH SYSTEM CONVERSIONS/UNITS:
Part 2 of 2 [March 21&31]

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond

Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee

365.25 days: 1 unicycle

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

100 rations: 1 C-ration

5 dialogs: 1 decalog

2 wharves: 1 paradox

(Stan Kegel via E-zine: BILL'S PUNCH LINE Mailto:bills-punch-line-subscribe@onelist.com)

~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:

Expert defined: "ex" is a has been and "[s]pert" is a drip under pressure.

(John L. Bechtel)

I guess we should not take ourselves too seriously. :o)

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

County singing star Dolly Parton will never forget the day everyone laughed at her when she was a teenager. It happened during graduation ceremonies at her small high school. Graduating students were invited to stand up and announce their plans for the future. "I'm going on to junior college," one young man announced. "I'm getting married," declared a young woman. When it was Parton's turn to speak she walked to the microphone and said simply: "I'm going to Nashville to become a star." The entire auditorium erupted in laughter. "I was stunned," Parton recalls. Somehow, though, that laughter instilled in me an even greater determination to realize my dream. I might have crumbled under the weight of the hardships that were to come had it not been for the response of the crowd that day." Victor M. Parachin, in "Transforming Weakness into Strength," Proclaim, Summer 1998, p. 5

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