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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 25, 2000
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing on one's own sunshine." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Source: Thought for Your Day, firstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservations." - Elton Trueblood
Source: Gagler's Quote of the Day, email@example.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
MINNESOTAN'S (USA)GUIDE TO COMPUTOR LINGO:
Vell, here ve go den.
LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter
LOG OFF: don't add vood
MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove
MEGAHERTZ: when a big log drops on your bare foot in da morning. Uffda!
FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from carrying too much vood
RAM: da hydraulic ting dat makes da voodsplitter vork
DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter
PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season
ENTER: come on in. Coffee?
WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 below
SCREEN: vhat is a must during black fly season
CHIP: vhat ya munch on during Vikings games
MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone
MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay feilds last Yuly
DOT MATRIX: Einar Matrix's vife
LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit
KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to put da keys so da Misses and find em
SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?
MOUSE: vhat leafs dem little droppings in da cupboard
MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna that hols up da roof
PORT: vhere da commercial fishin boats dock. Also dulut
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on the new deer rifle vhen da vife asks about it den.
Submitted by: Harold Penner via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
I've made up my mind what we'll call the baby," the young mother announced. "We'll call her Eulalia." The father did not care for this choice but he was shrewd. "That's fine," he said, "the first girl I loved was named Eulalia, and it will evoke pleasant memories." The wife was silent for a moment. "We'll call her Mary after my mother," she said.
Source: Peterís Pearls, firstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org
Early in her career Lucille Ball was one of hundreds of young actresses who auditioned for the part of Scarlett O'Hara in the movie "Gone in with The Wind," produced by David O. Selznick.
On the way to her audition she got caught in a downpour and she arrived at Selznick's office wet and disheveled. Selznick was late for the audition and the actress knelt in front of a blazing fireplace in the office, trying to get dry.
When the producer finally arrived, he had Lucille Ball read a scene and then dismissed her with out comment. Only then did Lucy realize that she had done the entire audition on her knees. It was a humiliating experience.
She went on to appear in many other movies, but major stardom on the big screen eluded her. In 1950, when television was coming into its own, Lucy and her husband, Desi Arnaz, made a pilot film that they tried to sell to CBS. CBS turned them down. But Lucy was a battler. She and her husband put up $8,000, founded Desilu Productions, and began to produce the "I Love Lucy" show for television. It was an immediate success, and before long became the top rated comedy show on television.
In less than a decade Desilu Productions owned several film studios and more sound stages than the great Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer company. The sweetest stroke of all was the purchase from RKO-Pathe of the old studio where David O. Selznick had made "Gone With the Wind." As soon as the deal was done, Lucy - whether out of nostalgia or revenge - claimed the former office of David O. Selznick for herself.
Source: Bits & Pieces, March 2, 1995, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org