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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 5, 2000
Above all be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. - Hardy D. Jackson
Source: Quote A Day, firstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God at her heart. She responded to God's call and accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. The young woman had a very rough past, involving alcohol, drugs, and prostitution. But, the change in her was evident. As time went on she became a faithful member of the church. She eventually became involved in the ministry, teaching young children.
It was not very long until this faithful young woman had caught the eye and heart of the pastor's son. The relationship grew and they began to make wedding plans. This is when the problems began. You see, about one half of the church did not think that a woman with a past such as hers was suitable for a pastor's son. The church began to argue and fight about the matter. So they decided to have a meeting. As the people made their arguments and tensions increased, the meeting was getting completely out of hand.
The young woman became very upset about all the things being brought up about her past. As she began to cry the pastor's son stood to speak. He could not bear the pain it was causing his wife to be. He began to speak and his statement was this: " My fiancee's past is not what is on trial here. What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus to wash away sin. Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial. So, does it wash away sin or not?" The whole church began to weep as they realized that they had been slandering the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Submitted by: Walt Groff via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
McDONALD'S IS INTRODUCING THE MEGA-MAC
Four beef patties, 790 calories, 41 grams of fat. Now they are figuring how to market the Mega-Mac. Jay Leno suggests these could be their new slogans:
You deserve a wake today
Come in a car, leave in a stretcher
It's like a gun in a bun
Hey, you want a lid on that coffin?
Four beef patties, six feet under.
Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. Then hold your chest and yell, "I'm having a heart attack."
4 patties + 3 buns = 2 chins
From: ShopTalk, March 24, 1999 email@example.com
Source: Keith's Mostly Clean Humor, McHawList- firstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Some new words to start your day:
ECNALUBMA - a rescue vehicle which can only be seen in a rear view mirror.
ELECELLERATION - the mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
By Dave George in E-Cheer Devotional, Copyright (c) 2000, www.e-cheer.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org
In the late 1970s, the TV sitcom "Laverne and Shirley" was shown in Bangkok, Thailand - where women did not act like the show's main characters. Each program was preceded by a disclaimer saying: "The two women depicted in the following episode are from an insane asylum."
Source: Giggles & Grins Copyright (c) 2000 by Igiggle@aol.com All Rights Reserved, email@example.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org