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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 9, 2000
"Habit is a cable; we spin a thread of it every day and at last we can not break it." - Author Unknown
Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) July 5, 1910, Pacific Press, www.pacificpress.com/signs via http://www.witandwisdom.org
Submitted by: Dale Galusha
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
I've learned . . . that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned . . . that being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned . . . that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned . . . that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help
him in some other way.
I've learned . . . that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs
a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned . . . that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned . . . that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned . . . that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned . . . that money doesn't buy class.
I've learned . . . that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned . . . that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned . . . that the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned . . . that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned . . . that love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned . . . that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned . . . that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned . . . that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned . . . that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
Submitted by: Donna Eick via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I tried to get in touch with my inner child but he isn't allowed to talk to strangers.
I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It's too little to go by itself.
I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it.
Welcome to Megacomputer's 24-hour help line. If you have been waiting LESS than 24 hours, please remain on the line.
Whenever I'm in a mood to watch the world go by, I just keep to the posted speed limit.
Source: Free Family Humor firstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Like many of my fellow travelers, I settled into my seat on a commuter flight and ignored the usual safety announcement given by the flight attendant. But along with the other passengers in the cabin, I quickly perked up when the attendant said, "Good afternoon. My name is John, and the other flight attendants are my fiancee, Beth, and my former wife, Diane." John smiled at us. "Now that I have your attention," he continued, "please listen to these safety instructions."
By Edwin E. Nilson
Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c), www.readersdigest.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org
In the days when pirates sailed the Spanish Main, the British warship Sparrow suspected the brig Nancy of carrying contraband and stopped it off the coast of Haiti, An examination of the latter's papers and cargo yielded only circumstantial evidence. Nevertheless, the captain of the Sparrow deemed this sufficient for him to tow the Nancy into Kingston, Jamaica, and charge the captain and crew with transporting illegal cargo.
Meanwhile, the officer in charge of a tender of the British frigate Abergavenny, which happened to be cruising in the same waters, noticed a school of sharks feeding on a dead bullock. He decided to see if he could catch one of the predators for sport and ordered his ship to pull up alongside the dead animal. The sailors succeeded in hooking one of the sharks.
Hauling the shark aboard, they opened it up and discovered in its stomach a bundle of papers. Examination showed that these belonged to the Nancy. Convinced that they might serve a useful purpose, the captain set sail for Kingston.
The Abergavenny arrived in port not long after the case of the Nancy came up for trial. The latter's captain and crew, and even her lawyers, were sure the case would be thrown out of court for lack of evidence. But what must have been their consternation when they were suddenly confronted with the papers found in the shark's belly. Instead of being acquitted, they were convicted.
By Donald & Vesta Mansell in "Sure as the Dawn," copyright (c) 1993 via http://www.witandwisdom.org