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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 30, 2000
An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. - Orlando A. Battista
Source: www2.bc.edu/~boweran/quotes.html via http://www.witandwisdom.org
Submitted by: Jay W. Cook
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A farmer became tired of his farm; and no wonder, you'll say, for he was born on the place. He had spent all his days on that quarter section. When a boy, he drove the cows to and from the pasture, picked apples in the orchard, swam in the creek just around the bend, trudged across the meadow and through the woods to the little frame schoolhouse down at the crossroads.
When he grew to young manhood, he had plowed every acre of the tillable land in the spring, helped to put up the hay in the summer, threshed in the fall, and hauled fodder for the stock in winter.
To this same old home he brought his bride. His three children had been born under the same roof where he was born. They had now grown up and gone to homes of their own.
He was sick and tired of the surroundings. He wanted a change; and often in his dreams he pictured a quiet spot where conditions were ideal, where he could spend his old age in comfort and be happy.
He told the real estate dealer in town how he felt, so the agent drove out and looked the farm over carefully. He felt sure he would have no difficulty in finding a buyer.
When the weekly paper came on Thursday, the old farmer looked over the ads, and found his farm listed. It stated that the Hammond place of one hundred sixty acres was for sale. The land was fertile and productive - a crop failure had never been known. Forty acres were covered with the best of timber; an artesian well furnished water the year round. There was an abundance of pasture land, through which flowed a small creek; and there was an ideal dwelling house of eight rooms. The barn was large and modern; there were machine sheds, and a granary with spacious bins. The place was well stocked with horses, cows, sheep, and chickens. It was close to the city, on the rural free delivery, and had a telephone. There were all kinds of fruit trees, both large and small, with abundance of shade around the house.
The old man read the advertisement the second time, then hitched up the team and drove to town to see the real estate agent. "I have read that advertisement," he said, "and as nearly as I can figure out, that's exactly the kind of place I have been wanting. I think I will keep it myself." - By Charles L. Paddock
Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) April 24, 1928, Pacific Press, www.pacificpress.com/signs via http://www.witandwisdom.org
Submitted by: Dale Galusha
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
CLASSIFIED ADS - Part 1 of 2 [Oct 30, 31]
(Excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.
3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
For sale; and antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Great Dames for sale.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Submitted by Homer
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, a young woman trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?"
The man shrugged, "Yeah, well, that's one benefit of owning the company."
Source: Clean Laffs www.shagmail.com/sub/sub-jokes.html via http://www.witandwisdom.org
Submitted by John Hoh
A cricket makes a fairly good thermometer. Here's how it works. First, count the number of times the cricket chirps during a 14-second period. Then add 40 to the total, and you will have a rough estimate of the temperature. The formula may need to be adjusted slightly for different species of crickets.
Why does this work? Crickets are "cold-blooded," which means their body temperature is determined by the temperature around them. At higher temperatures, their metabolism runs faster (and they chirp faster), while at lower temperatures, they slow down.
Source: Sermon Fodder, Sermon_Fodderfirstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org