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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 16, 2001
It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered.
Source: Weekend Encounter, by Dick Innes, Copyright 2000, www.actsweb.org/subscribe.htm
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Imagine, says Augustine, that God appeared to you and said He would make a deal with you, that He would give you everything you wished, everything your heart desired, except one thing. You could have anything you imagine; nothing would be impossible for you, and nothing would be sinful or forbidden. But, God concluded, "you shall never see My face."
Why, Augustine asks, did a terrible chill creep over your heart at those last words unless there is in your heart a love of God, a desire for Him? In fact, if you wouldn't accept that deal, you really love God above all things, for look what you just did: you gave up the whole world, and more, for God.
By G. K. Chesterton and C. S. Lewis, "The Riddle of Joy"
Submitted by Nancy Wimer
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
by a Farmer
A farmer had been taken several times by a local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow.
The farmer priced the unit as follows:
Basic Cow $ 999.95
Shipping and Handling 35.75
Extra Stomach 79.25
Two-tone Exterior 142.10
Produce Storage Compartment 128.50
Heavy Duty Straw Chopper 189.60
4-Spigot/High Output Drain System 149.20
Automatic Fly Swatter 88.50
Genuine Cowhide Upholstery 170.80
Deluxe Dual Horns 59.25
Automatic Fertilizer Attachment 339.40
4 X 4 Traction Drive Assembly 884.16
Pre-Delivery Wash and Comb 69.80
Farmer Suggested List Price $ 3336.26
Additional Dealer Adjustment 300.00
Total list price (including options) $3636.26
Tax and Ear Tags 418.00
TOTAL PURCHASE PRICE $4054.26
Source: Clean Hewmor, clean- email@example.com
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
When my oldest son was four, my husband became ill and had to go to the hospital. I left him and his younger brother with a neighbor and took my husband to the ward. In Russia we have terrible service, so it took over six hours to find out what was wrong and get him admitted. When I finally arrived to pick up the children, I told them Daddy would be in the hospital for a while. "Oh, goody!" My little boy begin jumping up and down in happiness. "I hope this time he comes back with a baby sister. When you went before you brought back a brother!" - By Anna Vasina, Russia
From: "Seasoned with Laughter, A Tossed Salad of Tales about Parsonage Pandemonium and Ministerial Mayhem." by Sharon M. Cress, Copyright (c) 1999. This book was provided courtesy of the publisher and is available for $6.95 at http://www.ministerialassociation.com/resources/books/laugh.html
The class of noisy boys in a German primary school was being punished by their teacher. They were assigned the problem of adding together all the numbers from I to 100. The boys settled down, scribbling busily on their slates - all but one. This boy looked off into space for a few moments, then wrote something on his slate and turned it in. His was the only right answer. When the amazed teacher asked how he did it, the boy replied, "I thought there might be some short cut, and I found one: 100 plus I is 101; 99 plus 2 is 101; 98 plus 3 is 101, and, if I continued the series all the way to 51 plus 50, I have 101 50 times, which is 5,050."
After this episode, the young scholar received special tutoring from his teacher. The boy was Karl Friedrich Gauss, the great mathematician of the 19th century.
Source: Bits & Pieces, April 30, 1992, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com