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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 18, 2001
"Every job is a self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence." - Jessica Guidobono
Source: The Funnies, firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A certain young man was a major behavior problem both in school and at home. He was disruptive, disrespectful, and disobedient. His fifth-grade teacher, principal, counselor, et al. repeatedly suggested that the young man had attention deficit disorder (ADD). They reassured the parents that ADD is genetic - therefore, his behavior wasn't their fault. They said he needed medication to help him control his impulses. The parents resisted this well-intentioned recommendation for months.
"Finally," the mother told me, "we reached the limit of our tolerance for his shenanigans. He came home from school one day to discover a padlock on the door to his bedroom, which houses his television, computer, video-game unit, sports equipment, models, and so on. We told him he'd be allowed in his room for 15 minutes in the morning to dress for school and for 15 minutes in the evening to get ready for bed, which was going to be 7:30 every night, seven nights a week. He was going to sleep on the sofa in the living room."
The boy was stunned, to say the least. When he threatened to report his parents for child abuse, they reminded him that he would be properly fed, properly protected from the elements, and would sleep in a bed that was much safer than his own. After all, he could only roll out of one side of it!
"But please!" his parents said. 'Tell whomever you like how abused you are."
This austere state of affairs would last a minimum of six weeks, they told him. During this time, he would not be allowed to participate in any after-school activity, have friends over, use the phone, watch television, or go anywhere except to accompany his parents. Furthermore, every single incident of misbehavior at school or home would add a week to his "exile," and no amount of good behavior would shorten it.
"It was amazing," his mother continued. "His teacher called us several days later to tell us he'd become a completely different child. She'd never seen so much improvement so quickly. He became a model child at home as well - polite, cooperative, talkative, a general pleasure to be around."
Six weeks later, the padlock was removed from his door with assurances that it would be re-attached at the first hint of relapse. It's been almost a year, and the youngster has yet to fall off the wagon.
By John Rosemond, a family psychologist who is director of the Center for Affirmative Parenting, Gastonia, North Carolina. For information on his parenting newsletter, call (800) 525-2778. His web site is http://www.rosemond.com
Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) December 1999, Pacific Press, www.pacificpress.com/signs
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ... by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff. Contact Departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."
Source: TheJokeDoctor TheJokeDoctor- email@example.com
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
PUT versus PUTT
A woman was taking her first golf lesson.
"Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor.
"'Putt' is correct," he replied. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Source: Clean Hewmor, clean-hewmor- firstname.lastname@example.org
Type in an artist's name or work, a movement or subject, and this art search engine sketches out a list of related links. http://www.artcyclopedia.com/
Access, America's Guide to the Internet, Copyright (c) Dec. 31, 2000 www.accessmagazine.com