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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 14, 2001
"The path of least resistance is what makes rivers run crooked." -- Elbert Hubbard
Source: Inspire, email@example.com
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, then retire and travel."
"No, seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm earning one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and easily made friends wherever she went. She reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was really "living it up."
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet; I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three-by-five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed, Rose leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began. We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
"You have to laugh and find humor every day.
"You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.
"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At year's end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you are meant to be! Get going!
Lyrics by Amanda McBroom
Some say love, it is a river,
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor,
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say Love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking,
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dyin',
That never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely,
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong,
Just remember, that in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed, that with a sun's love
In the spring becomes... The Rose
Submitted by Alice Bryan
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
AN ENGINEER'S LOVE NOTE
The first time I laid sight on you, you have captivated my eyes with your hyperbolic lips and pleased my heart with your parabolic nose.
When I made a survey of your isometric view drafted to full scale (1:1 mm) and detailed it to proportionate statistics, I concluded that your physical structure was a very splendid figure, worthy of respect, care and adoration. Every time I see your pentagonal face, my heart freezes to absolute zero degrees Kelvin and melts when you glance at me with your elliptical eyes.
You are the only perpendicular bisector of my heart, the transverse of my soul and the directrix of my mind. You are always the centroid of my thoughts and the vertex of my dreams.
Summing all these, I would like you to know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "I love you!!!"
Source: Lychnos firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Pastor's Announcement Before Offering
"I would like to remind you that what your are about to give is deductible, cannot be taken with you and in the Bible the love of it is considered to be the root of all evil."
Source: Jo Jokers, email@example.com
TIPS FOR AROUND THE HOUSE
1 Flies or bees bothering you? Spray them with hairspray and they will take a quick dive.
2 Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.
3 Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
4 For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze.
5 Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).
6 Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
7 Take a box of SOS Pads and cut each pad into halves. This saves from having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, it is much more economical, a box of SOS pads can last indefinitely and the scissors get sharpened this way!
8 Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time!
9 Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for Inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.
10 Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.
11 Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
12 Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
13 To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!
Submitted by Thurman C. Petty, Jr.