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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 29, 2001
"The only man who is a bigger fool than the one who knows it all is the one who will argue with him." - Author Unknown
Source: Awesome Quotes, www.coolnewsletters.com
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A young high school student took a walk one day with one of his teachers who was noted for his fairness in dealing with the young people in his classes. As the two walked along, they came across a pair of old shoes lying alongside the path. Seeing a laborer working in a nearby field, they assumed the shoes belonged to him. The man was just ending his day's work.
Turning to his teacher, the student chuckled, "Let's play a trick on the old duffer. Let's hide his shoes, conceal ourselves behind these bushes, and watch his bewilderment when he can't find them."
"Do you really think we should do that?" asked the teacher. "Let me make a different suggestion. Why not surprise the old fellow by putting a silver dollar in each shoe, then watch his reaction when he finds the money?"
The student wasn't exactly enthusiastic, but he went along with the idea.
When the poor man finished his work and slipped his shoes on, he felt something hard inside. Surprised, he looked at the coins, then fell to his knees and thanked God for providing money he desperately needed for his family.
"Don't you feel happier," whispered the professor, "for having helped the old fellow rather than playing a trick on him?"
The student had to agree.
By Donald E. and Vesta W. Mansell, "Sure As The Dawn" Copyright (c) 1993
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Part 2 of 3 [Mar 7, 19, 29]
17. Said a certain young lady named Gwen
Of her tally of smitten young men
"one less and three more
Divided by four
Together give one more than ten"
How many boyfriends had she?
18. There was a young fellow named Clive
Whose bees number ten power five
The daughters to each son
Were as nineteen to one,
A truly remarkable hive.
How many sons (drones) were in the hive?
19. A team's opening batter named Nero
Squared his number of hits, the big hero!
After subtracting his score
He took off ten and two more
And the final result was a "zero".
How many hits did Nero make:
20. Some freshman from Trinity Hall
Played hockey with a wonderful ball;
Two times its weight
Plus weight squared, minus eight,
Gave "nothing" in ounces at all.
What was the weight of the ball?
21. The Bar Z ranch was a dude ranch. One day a new "dude" asked one of the stable hands how many men were tending the horses in the corral. Having a mischievous sense of humor, he replied, "I saw eighty-two feet and twenty-six heads". He then walked away, leaving the dude scratching his head trying to figure it out. How many men were tending the horses?
22. One morning as Paul was getting his newspaper, he noticed on his new house something that needed to be fixed. Heading over to the hardware store, he spoke to the manager, describing his problem. The manager said, "I know just what you need". He led Paul down some aisles and stopped in front of some bins. Digging down into some of the bins, he set something up on the shelf. "I saw your house when it was built", the manager said. "Here's all that you'll need and how much it'll cost... five will be 15 cents while fifty will be 30 cents, 250 will be 45 cents, while 2507 will only cost you 60 cents. One lady, about 20 blocks from your house, bought 30247 and only paid 75 cents! These are black, but they also come in gold and silver." What was the manager selling?
23. If it takes 3 people to dig a hole, how many does it take to dig half a hole?
24. What is the beginning of eternity. The end of time and space. The beginning of every end. And the end of every place
17. Gwen had forty-two boyfriends. 42-1=41. 41+3=44. 44/4=11. 11-1=10.
18. Five Thousand. Ten power five = 100,000. Divide that out (it was a 19:1 ratio) and you get a ratio of 95,000:5,000 (daughters: sons).
19. Four. If you square it, you get 16. Subtract his number of hits and you get 12. Subtract 10 and then 2 more and you get 0.
20. Two ounces. (Beach ball, or ping-pong ball?) 2x2=4. 4+2^2=8. 8-8=0.
21. Eleven men (and 15 horses). 11 (men) x 2 (feet per man)=22, 15 (horses) x 4 (feet per horse)=60, and 22 (men's feet) + 60 (horse's feet) = 82 feet. Also, 11 (men) + 15 (horses) = 26 (total heads).
22. House numbers. Each digit costs 15 cents.
23. It's impossible to dig a half of a hole. Either you have a hole, or you don't.
24. The letter E.
Source: Have a Nice Day
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
The priest is repairing the church fence. A boy is standing nearby for a long while.
The priest asks him: "Do you want to speak with me, my son?"
"No, I'm just waiting."
"Waiting for what?"
"Wanna know what a priest says when he hits his finger with a hammer."
Submitted by Antonio Oliveros Fernandez
What happens to houseflies in the winter?
I know where a lot of people would like them to go--a warm place, and I don't mean south, like the birds. Flies perform absolutely no useful purpose, unless you have a cat who finds chasing and catching them entertaining. If I had my way, there wouldn't be enough flies surviving the summer for us to wonder about where they spend their winters.
In fact, none of them make it from one summer to the next no matter where they are. Most don't even make it through the month, with a typical life-span that ranges from one to three weeks. So shouldn't their reappearance en masse each summer fly in the face of logic? No, because a few manage to survive --and because a single pair can generate more than three trillion offspring in one season. With those numbers, hang on to your swatter.
From: WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE? by David Feldman
Source: MailBits.com Trivia, Copyright (c) 1998-2001. All rights reserved. Triviafirstname.lastname@example.org