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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 5, 2001
You don't get to control any outcome, only every choice you make along the way. - Stephen C. Paul
Source: Inspire, email@example.com
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Part 1 of 2 [April 5, 6]
Topic: Service, Spiritual
Title: Request for Transfer
TO: Commander and Chief Spiritual Armed Forces, Jesus Christ
I am writing this to You to request a transfer to a desk job. I herewith present my reasons:
I began my career as a private, but because of the intensity of the battle You have quickly moved me up in the ranks. You have made me an officer and given me a tremendous amount of responsibility. There are many soldiers and recruits under my charge. I am constantly being called upon to dispense wisdom, make judgments, and find solutions to complex problems.
You have placed me in a position to function as an officer, when in my heart I know I have only the skills of a private. I realize that you have promised to supply all I would need for the battle. But Sir, I must present You a realistic picture of my equipment. My uniform once so crisp and starched is now stained with tears and blood of those I have tried to assist. The soles of my boots are cracked and worn from the miles I have walked trying to enlist and encourage the instructed troops. My weapons are marred, tarnished and chipped from constant battle against the enemy. Even the Book of Regulations I was issued has been torn and tattered from endless use. The words are now smeared. You have promised You would be with me throughout, but when the noise of the battle is so loud and the confusion is so great, I can neither see nor hear You. I feel so alone. I'm tired. I'm discouraged. I have Battle Fatigue. I would never ask you for a discharge. I love being in Your service. But I humbly request a demotion and transfer. I'll file papers or clean latrines.
Just get me out of the battle--please, Sir.
Your Faithful, but tired soldier.
Submitted by Alice Bryan, Walt Groff
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
THE WEATHER FORECASTER'S ACCURACY
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT
Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the- firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
If Wal*mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
Submitted by Sherri Rimmer
Why do the two flat prongs on the plugs for electrical appliances have holes in them?
There are actually three reasons for the holes:
First, the contact wipers inside electrical outlet that the prongs slide into have bumps on them which fit into the holes allowing the outlet to grip the plug's prongs more firmly, preventing the plug from slipping out due to the weight of the plug and cord, and improving the contact between the plug and the outlet.
Second, electrical devices can be "factory-sealed" or "locked-out" by the manufacturer or owner using a plastic tie or a small padlock through one or both of the plug prong holes. Construction projects or industrial safety requirements sometimes require this type of sealing.
Finally, there's a small raw materials (metal) savings to the manufacturer of the actual plug prong. Every little bit helps!
Source: ArcaMax Trivia, www.arcamax.com
Reader Comment: Another reason for the holes in the prongs is because there are certain outlets that have locks in them so that when the cord is plugged in, it requires being manually released before the plug can be removed. This is used primarily in places where the outlet is in the ceiling, etc. We have these in the shop where I work. - Carolyn