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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 12, 2001
"If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse, you may be dead." - Frank Gelett Burgess, American writer, illustrator
Source: Learning Kingdom's Quotes of the Day, http://lists.LearningKingdom.com/join/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
By Leanne Freiberg, Copyright (c) 2001
My alarm went off -- it was Sunday again;
I was tired -- it was my one day to sleep in.
But the guilt I'd have felt the rest of the day
Would have been too much, so I'd go; I'd pray.
I showered and shaved, adjusted suit and tie,
Got there and swung into a pew just in time.
Bowing my head in humble prayer
Before I closed my eyes,
I saw that the shoe of the man next to me
Was touching my own and I sighed.
With plenty of room on either side,
I thought, "why do our soles have to touch?"
It bothered me so; he was glued to my shoe,
But it didn't seem to bother him much.
Then the prayer began: "Heavenly Father," someone said- -
But I thought, "Does this man with the shoes have no pride?"
They were dusty, worn, scratched end to end.
What's worse, there were holes on the side!
"Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer,
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.
Aren't we supposed to look our best
When walking through that door?
"Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.
Then the prayer ended and songs of praise began.
The shoe man was loud, sounding proud as he sang.
He lifted the rafters; his hands raised high;
The Lord surely heard his voice from the sky.
Then the offering was passed; what I threw in was steep.
The shoe man reached into his pockets, so deep,
And I tried to see what he pulled out to put in,
Then I heard a soft "clink," as when silver hits tin.
The sermon bored me to tears--
And no lie--
It was the same for the shoe man,
For tears fell from his eyes.
At the end of the service, as is custom here,
We must greet the visitors and show them good cheer.
But I was moved inside to want to meet this man,
So after the closing, I shook his hand.
He was old, his skin dark, his hair a mess.
I thanked him for coming, for being our guest,
He said, "My name's Charlie, glad to meet you, my friend,"
And there were tears in his eyes--but he had a wide grin.
"Let me explain," he said, wiping his eyes.
"I've been coming for months, and you're the first to say, "Hi."
I know I don't look like all the rest,
But I always try to look my best."
"I polish my shoes before my long walk,
But by the time I get here they're as dirty as chalk."
My heart fell to my knees, but I held back my tears,
He continued, "And I must apologize for sitting so near."
"But I know when I get here, I must look a sight.
And I thought . . . if I touched you, our souls might unite."
I was silent for a moment knowing anything I said
Would pale in comparison, so I spoke from my heart not my head.
"Oh, you've touched me," I said. "And taught me, in part,
That the best of a man is what's in his heart."
The rest, I thought, this man will never know. . .
How thankful I am that he touched my soul!
Note from the author, Leanne Freiberg firstname.lastname@example.org: I wrote the poem on January 15, 2001, in observance of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. When I woke up on that particular morning, "The Shoes", the entire thing, was in my head and I could do nothing else until it was finished. I give that credit to God.
Submitted by Jo Walters
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Dear ______________ :
Thank you for leaving your tooth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time
of our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory,
or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:
Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.
The Tooth Fairy
Submitted by Steve G Weiss
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
When I got off the bus late one night at Camp Beauregard, La., and was hurrying to my quarters, I was confronted by a guard. "Halt! Who goes there?" he called out.
I gave my name, rank, serial number and Army unit, and waited patiently for the command to advance and be recognized.
Finally I broke the silence with, "Aren't you supposed to say something else?"
"Yes," the guard replied, "and don't you dare move until I think of it."
Contributed to Reader's Digest "Humor In Uniform" by 1st Lt. Clarence E. Bird (Ret.)
Source: DailyInBox: Reader's Digest CyberSmiles, http://your.dailyinbox.com/rd/
I want to save a picture off a web page, but when I right-click it to "save picture as" a pop up box comes up and tells me I can't do it. Is there a way around this?
Yes - but first, remember if you're swiping copyrighted pictures off of web pages you can get into lots of trouble if you publish them yourself. Do this at your own risk.
Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, the easiest way is probably to hit the ALT and Print Screen keys together. This will capture an image of your browser window.
Next, open your favorite imaging software (or maybe just the Windows Paint program under Start, Programs, Accessories). If you need to, open a blank document (not necessary in Paint) and hit CTRL-V. That should paste the screen shot into your imaging software.
Finally, crop in so you just have the image you wanted and save it.
Source: Computer Tips, http://worldstart.com/comptips.htm