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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 6, 2001
Those who deserve love the least need it the most.
Source: God's Little Instruction Book for Women, By Honor Books Publishing Staff (editor), Published by Honor Books, Copyright (c) 1995, ISBN: 156292222X, http://isbn.nu/156292222X/price
Submitted by Nancy Simpson
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Years ago, a cab had picked me up in downtown Chicago and was whisking me down the Kennedy expressway toward the airport. I slumped in the backseat, exhausted from a week of special meetings at Moody Bible Institute. God had moved in remarkable ways. I had preached every day and counseled scores of students - seventy-six, to be exact (I kept a log). Now heading home, I was physically and spiritually spent. Staring blankly out at the traffic, I reached for the Jabez prayer. (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)
"O Lord," I pleaded, "I have no resistance left. I'm completely worn out in Your service. I can't cope with temptation. Please, keep evil far from me today."
When I boarded the plane, I found I'd been assigned a middle seat - not a good start for my flight. And things quickly got worse. The man on my left pulled out a pornographic magazine. "Lord, I thought we had a deal here!" I groaned in my spirit, and I looked the other way. But before the plane lifted off, the man on my right opened his briefcase and pulled out his own skin magazine.
At that moment, I didn't have it in me to ask them to change their reading material. I closed my eyes. "Lord," I prayed, "I can't cope with this today. Please chase evil far away!"
Suddenly the man on my right swore, folded up his magazine, and put it away. I looked at him to see what had prompted his action. Nothing, as far as I could tell. Then the man on the left looked at him, swore loudly, and closed up his magazine, too. Again, I could find no apparent reason for his decision.
We were over Indiana when I began laughing uncontrollably. They both asked me what was so funny.
"Gentlemen," I said, "you wouldn't believe me if I told you!"
Source: The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life, By Wilkinson, Bruce, Published by Multnomah Pub (May 1, 2000), ISBN: 1576737330 http://isbn.nu/1576737330
Subjects: Prayer, Temptation
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
The Oracle Service Humor Mailing List asked it readers to come up with absurd warning labels for common products:
On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. (Gary Dawson, Arlington)
On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. (Jean Sorensen, Herndon)
On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening. (Cissie J. Owen, Leesburg)
On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. (Jim Gaffney, Manassas)
On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)
On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. (Judith Daniel, Washington)
On Odor Eaters: Do not eat. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. (Gary Dawson, Arlington)
On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting. (Paul Styrene, Olney)
On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear. (J. Calvin Smith, Laurel)
On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. (David Handelsman, Charlottesville)
Source: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List
Subjects: Signs, One Liners
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A couple in Shasta California decided to have their wedding where they first met - a kindergarten classroom. When the minister said, "You may now kiss the bride," the groom responded, "Yuk! Cooties!!!"
Source: Los Angeles Times, http://www.latimes.com/
Submitted by Ed Lambert
Subjects: Weddings, Kindergarten
(sorry, this is for win 95/98 only)
I had a reader ask me how to hide all the desktop icons. They said they had seen it done but didn't remember how.
Well, after a little research and some tinkering, I think I have a way to hide all your desktop icons until you need them. Nothing like a clean desktop, especially if you have some cool wallpaper. Here's the trick:
First, you're going to need to have Active Desktop installed and active. If you have IE 4.0 or better, you're probably all set in this department. Here's the blow by blow:
1. First, open My Computer or Windows Explorer. From the View menu, go to Folder Options, then click the View tab.
2. Now, under the Visual Settings section, click the "Hide icons when the desktop is viewed as a web page" checkbox. Hit OK.
If you already had your desktop set to be viewed as a web page, you'll find all your icons have magically disappeared. To get them back, right-click the desktop and select Active Desktop, then click the "View as web page" menu item. That will shut off the "view as web page" property and all your icons will re-appear. Right-click and repeat the procedure to get rid of them again.
Source: Computer Tips, ISSN: 1529_336X, Copyright 2000, WorldStart. All unauthorized reproduction strictly prohibited. http://www.coolnewsletters.com