|Prior Date||Archive Index||Next Date|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 20, 2002
"Call on God, but row away from the rocks." - Indian Proverb
Source: Heart Touchers, http://www.hearttouchers.com
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Removed at the request of the author.
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
ABC's of Aging
A is for arthritis,
B is for bad back,
C is for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches, and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido--there is not much to say
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my M-memory from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteoporosis - for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?
Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux--one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on how to pay my increasing medical bills!
T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears
and the word "terminal" also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet found
X is for X ray--and what one might find
Y is for year (another one I'm still alive)
so Z is for zest
For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.
Source: Bill's Punch Line, http://www.tcmr.com/billspunchline.html
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
"Our minister's wife told of filling out a form in her pediatrician's office. Beside the blank marked ‘occupation' were these words: ‘If you devote the greater part of your time to loving, caring and making a home for your family, put a big star in this space.'" - Bonnie Miller
Source: Pulpit Pieces Weekly, http://www.net153.com/
While in Korea, Governor Mike Leavitt of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge of the Seoul airport , awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment, his press secretary, Vicki Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.
After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U.S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before takeoff.
Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Leavitt of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger. It was Varela.
By Paul Rolly and Jo Ann Jacobsen
Source: Funny Pages Mailing List