|Prior Date||Archive Index||Next Date|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 29, 2003
"If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas A. Edison
Source: Written Wisdom, mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
One afternoon my 3-year-old grandson, Joshua, and I went for a walk. At a nearby playground Joshua entered a large red plastic tube. As he did, I stepped up to the tube and began beating out a thundering drum roll.
Immediately Joshua came bounding out of the tube and said, "Grandpa! What was that?"
To amuse myself, I raised both hands and said, "Joshua, maybe that was thunder?"
"Grandpa," he said, taking my hand, "we need to pray." "Dear Jesus," he said, "maybe that was thunder, and maybe it wasn't. Maybe that was Grandpa, and maybe it wasn't. But please don't let it happen again. Amen."
As we rose from our knees, I was a different man. And needless to say, his prayer was answered.
By Milton Perkins, Oshawa, Ontario
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Sermon Fodder's Bulletin Bloopers 2003
Part 2 of 2 [May 19, 29]
PLEASE NOTE: We would like to make a correction in the recent edition of the church cookbook. An inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.
The marriage of Miss Freda VanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in the newsletter a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.
It was incorrectly reported in last week's newsletter that this Sunday is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.
It has come to our attention that there was a mistake in a newsletter item two weeks ago. There are two important corrections to the information in the last church newsletter on our Women's Deep Relaxation Exercise and Health Program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.
In a church bulletin a favorite hymn was written up as "There is a Bomb in Gilead." --Evelyn McGee
A Christian Lady with two small Christian dogs needs a guest cottage/cabin, north shore preferred.
The Deaf Awareness Workshop scheduled for Tuesday night is postponed due to laryngitis.
Wanted: Desk chair for secretary with no arms. - Dan Williams
I write a "Neighbors" column in the local paper. So I wrote about a boy from our church who was doing well in sports in college. It was supposed to say, "John is a real winner!" instead to my shock, it read, "John is a real sinner!"
Sermon Fodder's Bulletin Bloopers 2003 is copyright 2003 by Sermon Fodder Ministries, http://www.sermonfodder.com
If you would like to join the Sermon Fodder List and receive a daily dose of Christian humor and modern-day parables, please send an email to:
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Abraham Lincoln once took a sack of grain to a mill whose proprietor was known to be the laziest man in Illinois. After watching the miller for a while, the future president commented wearily, "I can eat that grain as fast as you're grinding it." "Indeed," grunted the miller, "and how long do you think you could keep that up?" Lincoln replied, "Until I starved to death."
Source: Bits & Pieces, June 23, 1994, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc. http://www2.ragan.com/html/main.isx?sub=226
All the better to see you with. (Windows 98/ME/XP) Try the Magnifier for a really big view. Left click "Start," "Programs," "Accessories," "Accessibility," "Magnifier."
If "Accessibility" is not available on your "Accessories" menu you will need to install it. For WIN98 you would left click on "Start," "Settings," "Control Panel." In "Control Panel" double click on "Add/Remove Programs." Let click on the "Windows Setup" tab. Select all of the "Accessibility" components then click "ok."
Source: The Pocket Newsletter, http://www.thepocket.com