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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 2, 2003
"Old age is fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Source: Arizona Humor, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Part 1 of 2 [Jul 2, 3]
The young man stopped at the edge of the frozen lake. His footprints led back through the snow for several miles to the prison from which he had just escaped. An Anabaptist in sixteenth-century Holland, Dirk Willem had been sentenced to burn at the stake. Now he ran for his life, with one guard in pursuit.
The ice at the shoreline was thick and white, but near the center it shaded down to a thinner sheet. A slight man like Dirk would have a good chance of reaching the other side safely, but his heavier pursuer would need to go around or take a terrible risk.
Carefully, gingerly, Dirk made his way to the opposite bank. Just as he arrived, the guard burst out of the woods and began lumbering across the ice as the fugitive sprinted away. But then - a crack, a shriek. Dirk whirled to see a jagged black hole with his pursuer's head and flailing arms at its center. Dirk was safe. Free.
But he also faced a question. Was it Christlike to leave a man to die? How could a Christian live with that cry ringing in his ears? On the other hand, how many people could he reach with his ministry after he'd been burned at the stake? Didn't he have an obligation to stay alive for the sake of their future? ...
By Jan Charles Haluska
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.
The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"
"Sure," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night."
"How about transportation?" the father asked.
"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."
"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"
Source: The Daily Dilly, http://www.dobhran.com
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Source: Monday Fodder mailto:email@example.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder
Get the Telemarketers off Your Back
The Federal Trade Commission opened a Web site Friday (June 27) where people can sign up to avoid telemarketers. I heard a report on CBS News that 1,000 people per second were accessing the site on Friday!
If you can't get in right away to sign up, don't worry about it. It doesn't take effect until Oct. 1. So you have plenty of time. If you live west of the Mississippi River, you can register by phone at 1-888-382-1222. Phone registration will open to the rest of the country on July 7.
Even if you register, expect to get calls from politicians, charities and pollsters. They are exempted. The Do Not Call site is here:
Copyright 2003, The Kim Komando Show. All rights reserved.
Source: The Kim Komando Show Electronic Newsletter, http://www.komando.com/newsletter.asp