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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 7, 2003
Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else sees and thinking what no one else has thought. - Albert Szent- Gyorgyi
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
The Men God Uses
The men God uses are . determined, courageous, and prepared for hard work and discomfort. David Brainerd traveled through 3,000 miles of dangerous frontier territory, mostly alone and while suffering from tuberculosis, to preach to the North American Indians, and God blessed him with revival. John Wesley traveled 5,000 miles each year on horseback and preached, on average, three sermons a day; he wrote more than 250 books, edited over 450 publications and could quote from the Greek New Testament as easily as from his English version. God rarely uses in leadership in revival those who are afraid of hard work because He would not be able to trust them with the commitment that revival demands.
By Brian H. Edwards, in "The Men God Uses," Spirit of Revival. Date unknown.
Source: The Timothy Report, Copyright (c) 2003 Swan Lake Communications, http://www.swanlake.twoffice.com
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Answering Machine Messages
Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
You have reached 555-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
"Hi. Now you say something."
We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
This answering machine has a short attention span, and it WILL hang up on you if leave a boring message.
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on and on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...
Submitted by Ernest Dobkins
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it's rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform.
"Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney.
Tilting back in her chair she opened her mouth to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment.
Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk.
"Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question."
Source: CoHu (Counseling and Psychology Humor), http://www.topica.com/lists/cohu/
Vienna, Austria (AP):
Doctors in Vienna have carried out the first successful tongue transplant on a human being, the hospital where the surgery took place said Monday.
An unidentified 42-year-old man suffering from a malignant tumor affecting his tongue and jaw underwent a 14-hour operation at Vienna's General Hospital on Saturday in which doctors removed the tumor and attached the new tongue, hospital spokeswoman Karin Fehringer said.
The patient is in good condition, Fehringer said.
Source: White Board News, http://www.joeha.com/whiteboard/