| Prior Date | Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 25, 2004 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Just remember, 100% of the shots you don't make don't go in. Wayne Gretzky Source: Inspire, http://www.inspirelist.com/ ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A Florida judge could have set a record by reportedly agreeing to release a man on bail of just 12 cents. WFTV says Judge Donna Miller set bail at just 7p after hearing that that was all James Hennes, who had been arrested for trespassing at a mental facility, could afford. As she thought he posed no danger, she could have released him without having to pay any bail, but she had done that before and he had ended up sleeping in the lobby of the jail he had been held in. So he was given the option of either paying the minimal bail or staying in prison. She claims her decision had an immediate and marked effect on his behavior, which had been erratic. "He immediately calmed down and felt empowered that the decision was in his hands," she said. Hennes posted the bail and did not sleep in the jail that night. Judge Miller says she tries to 'be creative and structure things that will change people's behavior. But this is not the first time she has meted out unusual punishments. A woman charged with battery was told she had to go running every day, a man caught with no driving license had to spend time with the local newspaper's cartoonist, and another man had to listen to an inspirational talk from Miller's paralyzed son. Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: I'm On A Committee By Phong Ngo Oh, give me a pity, I'm on a committee Which means that from morning to night We attend and amend and contend and defend Without a conclusion in sight. We confer and concur, we defer and demur And re-iterate all of our thoughts We revise the agenda with frequent addenda And consider a load of reports. We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose And the points of procedure are fun! But though various notions are brought up as motions There's terribly little gets done. We resolve and absolve, but never dissolve Since it's out of the question for us. What a shattering pity to end our committee Where else could we make such a fuss? Copyright (c) Phong Ngo Source: Laughter for a Saturday mailto:ed548@yahoo.com?subject=Subscribe_to_Laughter_for_a_Saturday ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: My brother, a strict vegetarian, travels abroad for long periods on business. When he got back from Europe one time, he called our parents' home and told Dad he was about to pay them an unexpected visit. Dad hung up. "The prodigal son is returning!" he called to my mother. "Kill the fatted zucchini!" Source: Arizona Humor, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/ ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: I called a friend at 6 a.m. and a sleepy female voice answered. Realizing that I had dialed the wrong number, I apologized and hung up. When I redialed, the same voice told me I still had the wrong number. As I started to apologize profusely, the woman interrupted me. "Please don't apologize," she said. "I'm sitting by the window with a cup of coffee enjoying a truly beautiful sunrise. If you hadn't awakened me, I would have missed it." Source: Top Greetings, http://www.top-greetings.com/ |