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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 20, 2006
"You get married not to be happy but to make each other happy." - Roy L. Smith
Source: Smile a Day Newsletter (c), http://www.net153.com/best.htm
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Right after World War II, a U.S. Army officer and his wife were stationed in Japan. That country had been devastated by the war. The post-war economy was in shambles. Unemployment approached 60%.
People came to the Army wife's door daily looking for work. One man said that he could do wonders for her garden if she would only give him a chance.
So, for the first time in her life, this young Army wife hired a gardener. He spoke no English, but the wife, through sign language and pencil and paper gave him instructions about where to plant, prune, and pamper her garden. He listened politely and followed her instructions exactly. The garden emerged as the finest in the neighborhood.
When she finally realized that her new gardener knew far more about the matter than she, the wife stopped giving him directions and let him freely care for the garden. It was magnificent. Then one day the gardener came with an interpreter who expressed the appreciation but the regrets of the gardener. "He will no longer be able to care for your garden. He must leave."
The wife expressed her regrets and thanked him through the interpreter for making hers such a fine garden. Out of politeness, she asked the interpreter, "Where is he going?"
The interpreter replied that the gardener was returning to his old job as the Professor of Horticulture at the University of Tokyo.
Oh, to be willing to be that humble.
Source: Illustrations, http://www.cybersaltlists.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.......
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them. (Don't try the name DWIGHT... it doesn't work... hahaha)
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the Los Angeles Lakers?
9. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends is... Boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward is... Niagara Falls. (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the water that rushing over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons are... Asparagus and Rhubarb
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside is... Strawberry
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, the bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.)
6. Three English words beginning with dw are... dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar are... the period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The original lakes referred to in Lakers is in Minnesota. (The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers, and kept the name when they moved west.)
9. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh is... Lettuce
Source: TIPS by Dr Philip E. Humbert, Copyright (c) 2006, all rights reserved. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1529-059X, http://www.philiphumbert.com
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter.
During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do that?" one asked.
Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."
Source: The Lame Humor List, http://absoluterobeo.com
View a map of automobile gas prices around the United States of America.
Source: The Pocket Newsletter, Copyright ©1996-2005, All Rights Reserved, http://thepocket.com