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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 23, 2006
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures. - Horace Greeley
Submitted by Nancy A Thomas
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A Wal-Mart store became more than a retail hub in the rural town where I once pastored. By hosting events for senior citizens and children, it became the town's social center. Florence, an older woman in our church, made the store her second home. Shopping for "a few things I need" became her daily excuse to meet friends and catch up on the latest happenings. Florence's retired carpenter husband, Bill, was an outdoorsman who spent his days fishing and puttering at their lake house.
Bill didn't really understand his wife's enjoyment of Wal-Mart shopping. But when Florence's age no longer allowed her to drive herself there, he soon recognized how much she missed it. One day he decided to forgo his time at the lake house. He drove Florence to Wal-Mart and stayed with her until she was ready to leave—which wasn't soon. On the many subsequent days that Bill took Florence to the store, he took along a folding lawn chair. They'd amble down the aisles together until Florence would strike up a conversation. Then Bill would unfold the chair and sit in the aisle, silently beaming at her enjoyment, until she was ready to move on.
By Bryan Chapell, Adapted from Each for the Other (Baker, 1998) by permission. Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Men of Integrity magazine. May/June 2006, Vol. 9, No. 3
Source: Men of Integrity, http://tinyurl.com/jsmyw
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
ABC Animal Puns
I will not cast ASPersion on previous performances, but I will BUCK the trend of not using the same theme. I just hope it doesn't become a CATastrophe and I start DRAGON my feet. And I hope no one will feel any EEL will towards me, as I just want to have a lot of FAWN.
In fact, I'll GOAT to any length to keep these animal puns going forever and HEIFER. I'll tow the line and try not to give up an INCHworm, as I dig for more animal puns. If I have to search for animal puns at night, I'll use a JACKAL lantern.
My goal, as always, is to keep up the KOALAty of these animal puns. If I can offer any tips to anyone, just LEMUR know. If you're not sure, merely MULLET over for a while. But don't be bashful; because, in this case, no news is bad NEWTs.
If I'm ever in your neighborhood, I'll stop by for a visit if OPOSSUM by your house. And I'll drive carefully, since I don't want to be accident PRAWN. If I come, I promise not to QUAHOG the conversation. You must think I'm a RAVEN lunatic to keep up this SHRIMPly awful animal punning, when in fact it actually makes me THRUSHed with delight and URCHIN to tell even more.
So, are you VIXEN to invite me over? If so, I think WEEVIL have a good time. We could sit around and talk about the death of some skate and ray fish, commonly know as X- ARAYS. Or we could dress up, go out, and YAK it up. Finally though, if a female is invited, she should be sure to wear (as the French say) ZE BRA.
Submitted by Nancy Thomas
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "one of those dreaded seven-engine approaches!"
Source: Daily Funnies, http://zinester.com/mpb/ml_fs.cgi?topic=25438
Using current gasoline prices from AAA's daily, online Fuel Gauge Report, as well as the latest highway fuel economy ratings from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, the AAA Fuel Cost Calculator estimates the amount and cost of gasoline needed to complete a vacation trip.
Source: The Pocket Newsletter, Copyright ©1996-2005, All Rights Reserved, http://thepocket.com