WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 14, 2006
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

The quickest way to receive love is to give love; The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly; In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings. - Unknown

~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:

Eula Weaver left the hospital following a severe heart attack at 77. "The doctor told her, "Mrs. Weaver, you have two ways you can go. You can go to bed and let somebody feed you with a spoon. Or you can go home, get out of bed, and walk."

Eula went home to walk. But it wasn't easy. Sometimes when she walked only fifty feet her leg muscles would cramp, and she would have to be carried home. It took grit and a change in diet to bring success to her exercise program. All her life Eula had eaten just about what she wanted to, mainly fatty meats and fried foods. Now she ate fruits, whole cereals, green salads, and vegetables.

Beginning with one block a day, she increased her walk during the first six months to seven blocks, three times a day. By the end of eighteen months she was running a quarter of a mile a day. When the neighbors saw Eula in jogging clothes, hobbling along, they thought she was losing her mind.

"At first," Eula said, "I couldn't jog half a block before I'd be clean out of breath. Then I'd have to drag myself home and rest. But I kept jogging every day and following my diet, and before long I got so I could jog a mile."

Within two years Mrs. Weaver was getting up at five-thirty every morning to trot several blocks to a high school and jog a mile around the track. If she couldn't get to the track, she rode the stationary bicycle in her bedroom as far as twenty miles, often reading the newspaper while she pedaled.

When Eula was 85 she was invited to run in the Senior Olympics. A gold medal awarded to her in that race.

Source: Climbing Jacob's Ladder, by Jeanne Larson & Ruth McLin, Copyright 1979 by Review and Herald Publishing Association

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Patenting Police People are convinced that you should have
never had children to begin with. They will shake their heads and cluck
their tongues, offer you unsolicited advice about birth control or state
the obvious.

"Your child is running through the aisles."

"You mean this isn't Disneyland?"

"Your child is standing in his seat."

"Amazing! He's working without a net!"

"Is it naptime?"

"No, they always scream like this."

"You must have your hands full."

"No, I just like to drop bottles of milk on the floor to see how fast it takes the clerk to call out WET SPILL ON AISLE THREE!"

'Your son has a potty mouth."

"My husband and I think self-expression is GOOD for them."

"These children are all yours?"

"So THAT explains why they keep following me home!"

Well, we made it to the check-out without anybody calling Child Protective Services.

By Lisa Barker a syndicated humor columnist and mom of five. Her latest book is 'Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane ... Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!' http://www.JellyMom.com

Please forward this to friends and family. Keep it intact from top to bottom and tell them where they can get more Jelly Mom: http://www.jellymom.com

Won't you stop by and sign up for your very own subscription? It's on me! And you will get a new column in your email box every Thursday--something fresh and new before anyone else on the Internet: http://www.jellymom.com

~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:

For a number of years my wife and I cared for foster children. One evening for worship we talked of how God led the children of Israel from Egypt to Canaan; gave them manna; provided the pillar of fire by night; sent the cloud of comfort by day; and how God led the children of Israel through the Red Sea.

At this point, I noticed there was a big question mark on one face: "Poor children! Didn't their parents do anything?

By Ronald Orr, Farmington, New Mexico

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

College student Chris van Rossmann answered a knock at the door of his apartment in Corvallis, Oregon, to find police and civil air patrol and search-and-rescue personnel standing there, demanding to know why he was sending out a distress signal. Chris clearly wasn't in any apparent distress, and he was completely unaware that he was doing any such thing.

After a little investigation, the response team was surprised to discover that the signal was being emitted by Chris's year-old flat screen television. The distress call had been received by satellite and routed to the Air Force Rescue Center at Langley Air Force Base in Virginia. "They'd never seen a signal come that strong from a home appliance," the 20-year-old told reporters. They had apparently expected to find a malfunctioning transponder on a boat or small plane, the usual problem in incidents such as this.

As the response team left, they told Chris not to turn on his TV set or he'd be facing a $10,000 fine for "willingly broadcasting a false distress signal." Fortunately, the manufacturer of the TV offered to provide him with a free replacement.

By Gary Swanson


WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine