WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 18, 2007
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

Submitted by B. B.


Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Difficult Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask you where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room. . . a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . .. . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all, but I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too!

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, you will tell them. Was your Mom difficult? I know mine was.

We had the most difficult mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, I think she could read our minds and I swear she had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be difficult parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

Attributed to Erma Bombeck

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Before I took the old family car off to college, my father - knowing the car was quite old - loaded the trunk with old soda bottles full of oil, engine coolant, and transmission fluid, and warned me to treat the vehicle carefully.

Sure enough, I drove it quite hard without any maintenance and one day it overheated. I scolded myself for ignoring my father's instructions and went to open the hood. It was then I learned just how well my father knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr. Pepper, the transmission stick Coke, and the empty coolant tank was labeled Diet Pepsi.

Source: Mark Mail, http://mrhumor.net/


Father's Day was nearing when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him all the cards to choose for Dad and asked him to pick one.

When I looked back, I saw Tyler picking up card after card, opening it up and immediately putting it back in the rack.

"Tyler, what are you doing?" I asked. "Can't you find a card for Daddy?"

"No," he replied, "I'm looking for one with money in it."

Source: Mark Mail, http://mrhumor.net/

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Book Swap Made Easy

Some books are worth parking on your bookshelf forever. Others, not so much. So when a friend told me about the online book-swap site Bookins.com, I was intrigued. It's a more targeted way to barter than Craigslist (where it wouldn't be odd to find a "my books for your hamster" posting); it's simpler than Amazon Marketplace (which has sellers running to the post office every time they get a "Sold, ship now" e-mail); and the books are free.

Here's how it works: You get 15 points just for signing up, then more points for every book posted that someone else wants to grab. Points are assigned according to a book's age and original cost. An old Danielle Steel book might be 3 points; "The Da Vinci Code" audio book, on 13 CDs, is 27.

Bookins is not the only swap site out there (others are ReadersUnited.com and PaperBackSwap.com), but I like Bookins because the only cost is for the book's recipient -- a flat $3.99 for postage and delivery confirmation. The shipper can print a mailing label at home. It is actually more postage than you need for sending most books, but it beats standing in line at the post office.

Source: USA Weekend, June 8 - 10, 2007, http://usaweekend.com

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