WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 8, 1998

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action. - Author Unknown

Source: Bits & Pieces, October 13,1994



Believe in miracles, but don't depend on them.

When you hear a kind word spoken about a friend, tell her so.

Don't work for recognition, but do work worthy of recognition.

Nothing important was ever achieved without someone's taking a chance.

When a friend is in need, help him without his having to ask.

Seek respect rather than popularity.

Don't let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know you were meant to do.

To help your children turn out well, spend twice as much time and half the money.

Remember that life's most treasured moments often come unannounced.

Be willing to accept a temporary inconvenience for a permanent improvement.

Shared by Kitty's Daily Mews http://www.katscratch.com/mews.html

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.

TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.

TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.

TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next year anyway.

TO THE FARM ADVISOR: 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market.
I never did.

TO THE JUNK MAN: All my machinery. He's had his eye on it for years.

TO MY UNDERTAKER: A special request. I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They're used to carrying me.

TO THE WEATHERMAN: Rain, sleet, and snow for the funeral please. No sense having good weather now.

TO THE GRAVEDIGGER: Don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.

TO THE MONUMENT MAKER: For the epitaph: "Here lies a farmer who has now properly assumed all of his obligations."

Shared by Kitty's Daily Mews http://www.katscratch.com/mews.html


When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."

Shared by Granny's Funnies http://members.aol.com/grannyx7/DGF.html

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Although an alligator can close its jaws with the force sufficient to break a person's arm, the muscles that open its jaws are so weak that it is possible for a man to hold the mouth of a full-grown alligator shut with only one hand.

Source: "Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts"

Shared by Fun Fact http://www.dreamsville.com/CSN/Wardo/fact.html

WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine