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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 12, 1998
If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles in the backside, you wouldn't be able to sit down for two weeks.
(Bits & Pieces, December 13, 1990, http://www.epinc.com/)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Until you have given up your self to Him you will not have a real self ... Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. - C. S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"
William E. O'Flaherty's "4 Thoughts of the Week" http://www.netastic.com/4tow/4tow.html
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
A young man was baptized at his church and emerged from the baptismal feeling refreshed and renewed. However, when he stepped out of the baptismal and was out of view of the congregation, he realized he had emerged on the "women's side." He now had two options; walk behind the baptismal (in view of all) and embarrass himself, or wait until the service was over. Since it was winter, the sanctuary was a bit on the chilly side, he was not about to wait and freeze. Embarrassing himself did not look like a promising option either, so he came up with a third option...
Carefully, he slipped back into the baptismal and ducked under water without being seen. He swam underwater to the other side and up on the men's side, thinking he made passage unnoticed. When he came up out of the water on the other side, the congregation was in absolute hysterical laughter. He turned around and saw the Pastor and the next baptism candidate looking his way laughing as well. It was then that he remembered that the front of the baptismal was plexiglass and the entire congregation had watched him make his underwater trek to the other side.
By Jan S. Doward, "Even the Angels Must Laugh"
Shared by "PmpCConslt" via Laugh-A-Lot! firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking!" She smugly added, "Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There you are. ...Of course, if "that" doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
Shared by Laugh-A-Lot! email@example.com
- lost his job in 1832.
- was defeated for the legislature in 1833.
- failed at business in 1833.
- suffered a nervous breakdown in 1836.
- was defeated for speaker of the Illinois state legislature in 1838.
- was defeated for nomination to Congress in 1848.
- lost renomination to Congress in 1849.
- was defeated for the Senate in 1854.
- was defeated for nomination for Vice-President in 1856.
- was defeated for the Senate in 1858.
- became the sixteenth President of the U.S. in 1861.
Source: Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts
Shared by Fun Fact http://www.dreamsville.com/CSN/Wardo/fact.html