WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 4, 1998

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

The true test of moral courage is the ability to ignore an insult. - Unknown, - Quips & Quotes, E. C. McKenzie


The Bible must be the invention of good men or angels, bad men or devils, or of God. It could not be the invention of good men or angels; for they neither would nor could make a book, and tell lies all the time they were writing it, saying "Thus saith the Lord" when it was their own invention. It could not be the invention of bad men or devils; for they would not make a book which commands all duty, forbids all sin, and condemns their souls to hell for all eternity. Therefore I draw this conclusion, that the Bible must be given by divine inspiration. - John Wesley, "The Words of John Wesley"

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


SNOWSUITS: Warm, padded outer garments that, when completely zipped and snapped performs two important functions: Protecting children from the cold and reminding them that they have to go to the bathroom.

SUNDAY BEST: Attractive, expensive children's clothing made of a fabric which attracts melted chocolate and grape juice.

TEACHER CONFERENCE: A meeting between Mom and that person who has yet to understand her child's "special needs."

TERRIBLE TWO'S: Having both kids at home all summer.

TRAMP: A woman with two kids and no stretch marks.

TROUBLE: Area of nonspecific space a child can always be sure to be in.

VITAMINS: Tiny facsimiles of cave people Mom forces you to swallow each morning as part of her sinister plot to have you grow up to be "Just like Daddy."

WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

WASHING MACHINE: Household appliance used to clean blue jeans, permanent ink markers, loose change, homework, tissues and wads of gum.

"WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME": Standard measurement of time between crime and punishment.

XOXOXOXO: Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.

ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

(Shared by Adam's Smile List http://smilezone.com)


Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it .... - Steven Wright

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

To get rid of those smelly odors from shoes in the closet, place them in a plastic bag, close tightly, and put it in the freezer for at least two days. The cold kills the bacteria causing the odors.

(Shared by Jeanne via http://www.Learn2.com)

WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine