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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 5, 1998
The best bridge between hope and despair is often a good night's sleep.
(Shared by Robbi Mikkola)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
LIFE AS AN AMERICAN
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but mumble through half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".
We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars for education, but spend three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.
We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.
We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
As told by firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would seem to shed some light on the question, where do pets come from?
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. It is lonesome out here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for you a companion that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know that I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you, as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion to Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And Adam was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the other animals, as you instructed me, and all the good names have been taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And DOG lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And DOG was content and wagged his tail.
And after a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and poses like a turkey and believes he is worthy of adoration. DOG has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And CAT would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into CAT's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And CAT did not particularly care one way or the other.
(Shared by Dave from Hongkong)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, will be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!" "Don't worry, madam," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have there, you will be home in no time."
(Shared by John Wright via Bill's Punch Line email@example.com)
In response to yesterday's trivia regarding eliminating shoe odors, Audrey Eng adds the following: "There is a rather more sedate manner of doing this, just put a teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda into your shoes. ... A teaspoonful of soda in a cup of water placed in your fridge gets rid of the not-always pleasant food smells in your fridge."