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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 1, 1998
But the lies we live will always be confessed in the stories that we tell. - Orson Scott Card
(Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net)
People need people. Laurie was about three when one night she requested my aid in getting undressed. I was downstairs and she was upstairs, and . . . well. "You know how to undress yourself," I reminded.
"Yes," she explained, "but sometimes people need people anyway, even if they do know how to do things by themselves." - William C. Schutz
(Bits & Pieces, December 13, 1990, http://www.epinc.com/)
THIS & THAT:
TIPS FOR MOMS & DADS Part 12 of 18
HINT #221: There's no escaping car pools.
HINT #222: Yes, they'll need braces.
HINT #223: Yes, they'll need stitches.
HINT #224: Guilt is an art form.
HINT #225: Curfews are made to be broken.
HINT #226: Dry their tears.
HINT #227: Play Name the State Capitals.
HINT #228: Teach them to read maps.
HINT #229: Do a jigsaw puzzle together.
HINT #230: Ask only that they try their best.
HINT #231: Your son's wife will not be pretty enough.
HINT #232: Your daughter's husband will not earn enough.
HINT #233: When they have kids, they'll REALLY appreciate you.
HINT #234: Grandchildren are for spoiling.
HINT #235: Transfer old home movies to video.
HINT #236: Make lemonade from real lemons.
HINT #237: It's your duty to brag.
HINT #238: Point out that your granddaughter has your eyes.
HINT #239: Be sure to mention that your grandson has your smile.
HINT #240: Let your daughter think she's a better mother than you.
[The eighteen parts of "Tips for Moms & Dads" can be found in the following issues of WITandWISDOM(tm): 2001 - #1 Mar 1, #2 Apr 2, #3 May 1, #4 Jun 1, #5 Jul 2, #6 Aug 1, #7 Sep 3, #8 Oct 1, 1998 - #9 Jan 1, #10 Feb 2, #11 Mar 2, #12 Apr 1, #13 May 1, #14 Jun 1, #15 Jul 1, #16 Aug 3, #17 Sep 1, #18 Oct 1]
Source: Dean's Humor List
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
(Shared by Betty & Steve Osher via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird (McHaw) List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net)
A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can.
(Shared by Fun Fact http://www.dreamsville.com/CSN/Wardo/fact.htmlhttp:// Source: "2201 Fascinating Facts")