|Prior Date||Archive Index||Next Date|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 8, 1998
Only in growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
(Shared by INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/)
When the God Lord was creating Mothers He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts. . . all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands. . . no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems", said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that Mothers need." "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord," said the angel touching His sleeve gently, "Come to bed. Tomorrow. . . . . . " "I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to Myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick. . . can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger. . . and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of a Mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. "But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this Mother can endure." "Can it think?" "Not only think, but it can reason and compromise" said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her fingers across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you were trying to put too much into this model." "It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." "What's it for?" "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride." "You are a genius," said the angel. The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there." Erma Bombeck
(Shared by Stanley Baldwin)
THIS & THAT:
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry.
A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 meters away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved and hopped down the road, another 50 meters, turned, waved and hopped another 50 meters. The man was astonished.
He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can!! He ran over to the woman and asked, "What is in your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:
Restores life to dead hair.
Adds permanent wave.
(Shared by Sue Archer and Lynda Walcker)
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
(Shared by Bill's Punch Line firstname.lastname@example.org)
The Ethnologue is a catalogue of more than 6,700 languages spoken in 228 countries. The Ethnologue Name Index lists over 39,000 language names, dialect names, and alternate names. - Summer Institute of Linguistics, Inc. Dallas, Texas http://www.sil.org/ethnologue/
A nice "Tribute to Mothers" website: