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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 16, 1998
Accept than some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
(Shared by Tatyana Ogbe via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net)
"I will fear no evil: for thou art with me." - Psalm 23:4
Behold, how independent of outward circumstances the Holy Ghost can make the Christian! What a bright light may shine within us when it is all dark without! How firm, how happy, how calm, how peaceful we may be, when the world shakes to and fro, and the pillars of the earth are removed! Even death itself, with all its terrible influences, has no power to suspend the music of a Christian's heart, but rather makes that music become more sweet, more clear, more heavenly, till the last kind act which death can do is to let the earthly strain melt into the heavenly chorus, the temporal joy into the eternal bliss! Let us have confidence, then, in the blessed Spirit's power to comfort us. Dear reader, are you looking forward to poverty? Fear not; the divine Spirit can give you, in your want, a greater plenty than the rich have in their abundance. You know not what joys may be stored up for you in the cottage around which grace will plant the roses of content. Are you conscious of a growing failure of your bodily powers? Do you expect to suffer long nights of languishing and days of pain? O be not sad! That bed may become a throne to you. You little know how every pang that shoots through your body may be a refining fire to consume your dross - a beam of glory to light up the secret parts of your soul. Are the eyes growing dim? Jesus will be your light. Do the ears fail you? Jesus' name will be your soul's best music, and his person your dear delight. Socrates used to say, "Philosophers can be happy without music;" and Christians can be happier than philosophers when all outward causes of rejoicing are withdrawn. In thee, my God, my heart shall triumph, come what may of ills without! By thy power, O blessed Spirit, my heart shall be exceeding glad, though all things should fail me here below.
Charles Spurgeon, "Morning and Evening Daily Readings"
THIS & THAT:
EXCERPTS FROM LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS . . .
1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
2. "When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."
3. "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
4. "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
5. "I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
6. "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
7. "Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."
(Shared by Funny Town http://www.funnytown.com/)
I wuz onecet inn a spelin be, bot I losst becuse the othr contastents cheeted.
(Shared by Tina Gunther via Bill's Punch Line email@example.com)
THIS IS A TRUE STORY . . . A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame as he had merely been listening to his walkman.
(Shared by Ernest Dobkins)