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WIT & WISDOM - September 10, 1998

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Somewhere in the world there is defeat for everyone. Some are destroyed by defeat, and some made small, and mean by victory. Greatness lives in one who triumphs equally over defeat and victory. - John Steinbeck [1]


A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones' chests would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe. But she never got a response to equal four year old David's.

Gently he tucked the stethoscope in his ears and placed the disk over his heart. "Listen", she said, "What do you suppose that is?"

He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap-tap-tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin. "Is that Jesus knocking?" he asked. [2]

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

AMAZED & CONFUSED: Part 3 of 3

Kids write the darndest things in essays. Here are some excerpts of sparkling prose from this year's Oregon writing assessment tests - with corrections - courtesy of the Portland Public Schools. - Alicia di Rado, OREGONIAN, 1997

Grade 8 and 10

Some attractions I would like to see (in Europe) one the Effial Tower, Stonhege, Apocalypse and many many others.

He got in so much trouble he had to go visit the vice principal. He got suspended and before he could come back to school he had to write a 5,000 word paper that said I will not scare girls with frog parts.

One day I was swinging and I fell off (the swing) and died. I ran downstairs and tryed to call 911.

The people that wrote classical literature were famous and also dead.

I'd be famous like being on cereal boxes, radio shows, TV shows, underwear agreements, and maybe my own talk show.

Coos Bay is a boring town. We have a small mall, an itsy-bitsy state park, no ice skating rink, no place for body piercing . . . [3]


A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:

I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too. [4]

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Jigsaw puzzles were first made to teach geography in England in the late 18th century. They were called "dissected maps," and were made by drawing a map on a sheet of wood and sawing it into irregular pieces with a saw.

Later, different kinds of pictures were made into puzzles, with topics like history, alphabets, botany, and zoology. Jigsaw puzzles reached a peak of popularity in the 1860's in Great Britain and the USA. During the Great Depression, their relative cheapness made them popular again as gifts.

More about the history of jigsaw puzzles:

Pictures of early jigsaw puzzles:
http://www.hants. gov.uk/museums/h0030481.html [5]


[1] (Inspiration a Day! [2] (Bill's Punch Line tcmrtalk@airmail.net)
[3] (Barbara Henry)
[4] (Humor Break http://www.dreamhaven.org/~morph/jokes/)
[5] (The Learning Kingdom http://www.LearningKingdom.com/join.html)

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