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WIT & WISDOM - September 23, 1998

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

The past is a guide post, not a hitching post. - L. Thomas Holdcroft [1]


It was on the last night of His life, when His enemies were all around Him, that He spoke to His disciples of the joy that no man taketh away. Read again the story of His Passion: Jesus is seen throughout as calm, quiet, and confident. His last word is, "Father, into Thy hands I commit my spirit". Someone may say, "Yes, but He knew that He was going to rise from the dead." But have we not the same promise for ourselves? - Stephen Neill, The Christian Character [2]

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


Pilot: November 123 on a very short final, understand I'm cleared to land?
Tower: Oh, who's talking?
Pilot: Me

Radar: Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees
Pilot: Roger, but we are at 35.000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?
Radar: Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?

Radar: CRX 500, are you on a course to SUL?
Pilot: More or less
Radar: So proceed a little bit more to SUL

Tower: N2234, are you a Cessna?
Pilot: No, I'm a male Hispanic

Pilot: ... request heading 110 to avoid
Radar: To avoid what?
Pilot: To avoid delay

Pilot: Radar, this is Cessna 4675
Radar: Cessna 4675, go ahead
Pilot: Radar, I don't seem to be making much progress here. How is my ground speed?
Radar: Well, all depends. If you are a hang glider, you are doing very well.

Captain: (after landing a bit rough) Ladies and Gentlemen, it's happy hour. You just received two landings for the price of one. [3]


A flea and a fly in a flu
were imprisoned so what could they do?
Said the flea "let us fly"
said the fly" let us flee"
so they flew through a flaw in the flu. [4]

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Why do pilots say "mayday" when they're in trouble?

The word "mayday" has nothing to do with the month of May. Instead, it comes from the French word "m'aidez," which means "help me," an appropriate thing to say when your plane nosedives. - Source: The American Heritage Dictionary [5]


[1] (INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/)
[2] (Christian Quotation of the Day http://www.gospelcom.net/cqod/cqodlist.htm)
[3] (Chris Ostermueller via Oracle Service Humor Mailing List http://www.oraclehumor.com)
[4] (Dan Eggleston via Bill's Punch Line tcmrtalk@airmail.net)
[5] (http://www.MailBits.com/Trivia)

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2001 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.