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WIT & WISDOM - October 19, 1998
"He who does not see the angels and devils in the beauty and malice of life will be far removed from knowledge, and his spirit will be empty of affection." - Kahlil Gibran, The Broken Wings 
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
OBJECT LESSONS TO REMIND YOU OF EVERYDAY TRUTHS
TOOTHPICK . . . to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone including yourself.
RUBBERBAND . . . to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.
BAND-AID . . . to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.
ERASER . . . to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors.
CANDY KISS . . . to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment every day.
MINT . . . to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family.
BUBBLE GUM . . . to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.
PENCIL . . . to remind you to list your blessings every day.
TEA BAG . . . to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings. This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day.
(A fun learning activity for children would be to place these items in a bag. As they take turns removing an item from the bag talk about the above truths.) 
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Men are very strange. When they wake up in the morning they want things like toast. I don't have these recipes . - Elayne Boosler
Some people hate waking up and getting out of bed. I enjoy it. I do it three or four times a day.
There are 24 hours in a day. Do you realize if there were 24 hours and 15 minutes we could all get enough sleep?
Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings - too soon or too late. - Sam Levenson
I love the smell of fresh coffee in the morning. That is why I use Maxwell House After-Shave Lotion.
I think if I have a good breakfast I could go without food for the rest of the day. I think that until about lunchtime.
Half the people like to work and the other half don't, or maybe it's the other way around. - Sam Levenson
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. - Ogden Nash
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day - because then I know it will be up all night. - Steven Wright
My wife and I always kiss goodnight. It's like touching gloves before we spend the entire night fighting over the covers.
Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep. - Paula Poundstone 
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
I took my 4 year old son, Josh, out to McDonalds for dinner one evening for a "guy night". As we were eating our hamburgers, Josh asked "daddy, what are these little things on the hamburger buns?" I responded that they were tiny seeds and were ok to eat.
He was quiet for a couple of minutes and I could tell he was in deep thought. Finally, Josh looked up and said, "Dad, if we go home and plant these seeds in our back yard, we will have enough hamburgers to last forever." -Robert Kaumans 
When young F. W. Woolworth was a store clerk, he tried to convince his boss to have a ten-cent sale to reduce inventory. The boss agreed, and the idea was a resounding success. This inspired Woolworth to open his own store and price items at a nickel and a dime. He needed capital for such a venture, so he asked his boss to supply the capital for part interest in the store. His boss turned him down flat. "The idea is too risky," he told Woolworth. "There are not enough items to sell for five and ten cents." Woolworth went ahead without his boss's backing, and he not only was successful in his first store, but eventually he owned a chain of F. W. Woolworth stores across the nation. Later, his former boss was heard to remark, "As far as I can figure out, every word I used to turn Woolworth down cost me about a million dollars." 
 (Karen via Fast Eddie's Funnies
 (Robert Donnelly)
 (Mary Grimson via The Funny! List
 ("The Sixth Sense - The Sense of Humor" <6th- Sense@ClearVista.com>)
 (Louise Maxwell)