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WITandWISDOM(tm) - November 6, 2003
"Speak softly. If you really want to be heard, lower your voice." - Terri Levine
Source: Quotes From The Masters, http://mailroom.dailyinbox.com/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place -- the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
It has been said that, "God does not do anything for us that we can do for ourselves."
Submitted by John L. Hoh, Jr., http://www.geocities.com/hohjohn/
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
An Octogenarian moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told everyone scheduled to play was already out on the course. He was so disappointed, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and would give him a 12 stroke handicap.
The 80 year old said " I really don't need a handicap. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps."
They both played well. Coming into the par three 18th they were even. The pro had a nice drive to mid-fairway and would be able to get on the green with the next stroke and then putt for a par with the following play.
The old man hit a long drive, and the ball landed in one of the two sand traps around the hole. Shooting from the sand trap on his second stroke, he hit a high ball which landed on the green and rolled right into the hole!
The Assistant Pro was stunned. "Nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps."
"I do, replied the octogenarian. "Give me a hand."
Source: Good, Clean Funnies, http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.
En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"
The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window.
"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
Source: Clean Laugh, http://www.cybersalt.org/lists.htm
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Source: Nybble Weekly Newsletter, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nybble